Maybe its not that your not a dog guy so much as you had a really stupid dog.Second attaching to a low point and please keep the leash on the shorter side.
The one time I (as a grown-up) owned a dog, it was leashed in my truck's bed to a truck box and the first stop I came to it jumped out and dangled along the side. My passenger quickly got out and put it back in.
That event (and others less serious) quickly hammered the point that I wasn't a dog guy and I got the dog to an owner who was.
Stupid dogs take a special kind of owner.