OP
Dad falls apart (AndyG lawyers up)
- Thread starter AndyG
- Start date
I've seen this more times than I want to admit. Caregiver's posing as loved ones (or is it loved ones posing as caregivers?) take advantage in every way imaginable.
The really frightening part was not what that were planning to do after someone passes, but the horrors they DID do while the person was alive.
The sons of one client tallied over $90k of checks their step-mother wrote from their Dad's checking account, to herself. She came to the relationship with millions, yet still felt she need to extort more from him. He was a retired PO.
The boys were livid. But in the end they prevailed.
You're gonna want a video of her reaction when she receives the eviction notice..
Stay strong @AndyG
The really frightening part was not what that were planning to do after someone passes, but the horrors they DID do while the person was alive.
The sons of one client tallied over $90k of checks their step-mother wrote from their Dad's checking account, to herself. She came to the relationship with millions, yet still felt she need to extort more from him. He was a retired PO.
The boys were livid. But in the end they prevailed.
You're gonna want a video of her reaction when she receives the eviction notice..
Stay strong @AndyG
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I've seen it inside my family, extended family, and people I know. When someone dies it can be a nightmare no matter if they have money or not.
I have grandkids so in the next two weeks it's time to go back to the estate attorney.
I have grandkids so in the next two weeks it's time to go back to the estate attorney.
OP
Amen.
Death is one of the times that money does not solve any problems- Or doesn’t solve as many as it creates.
Also no money or a lot of money is better in some cases- like Medicaid, etc. but 250,000- 1 million is fairly problematic.
No will except the one “he” wrote her she witnessed and benefited from. Various banks, insurers, 9 cars, etc.
I’m going to tell you guys- This is a blame mess.
And every time we solve one issue then we have to deal with the next one that pops up- now it is my 60 year old worthless brother- He stands to inherit a child’s portion after attempting to burn down the property and going to prison- My mother has spent so much money on him that she wants us to keep all the money between me and my sister because she feels guilty- The probate court won’t look at it that way.
He has never even filed a tax return to my knowledge-
I don’t want to be grossly unfair to him, At the same time his criminal past toward my father adds another level of difficulty. He attempted to burn down the house with my dad in it.
I am sure you know this given your construction background but you may want to run a lien check on the house and a credit report on your Dad. If she was able to get him to sign a new will, who knows what else she had him sign.
Hell no he aint short ! let me tell ya Andy can pull up to a 4way stop, get out ( without a ladder ) buff his windshield to a bugless spit shine, get back in and not miss his turn to pull out
just messin with ya buddy !!!! maybe it can bring a laugh in your crazy day 
OP
The lien check is done- excellent idea on credit check now and monitoring it- Knowing his mail has been going to that property it is so easy for somebody to apply for credit cards, etc.
Tray Burge
TJ Addict
We're about $15k into an "elders abuse" law suit with a bat-shit crazy sister right now, fun way to blow money for sure. Not
As you deal with all this Andy, we pray that God gives you wisdom and strength. Family is great unless you have one. Take a deep breath and hang tough my friend. Justice is something we should all strive for, even though at times justice is not finally realized until the end of time. Hopefully everything works out in real time for your family! I am sure your dad is proud of what you and your sister are doing !
Hug your wife and kids and sister. Remember God is Good !
OP
I absolutely love that. Thanks for that post, really connects.
I have found a mindset that you won’t be happy unless you get “justice” or whatever our version of “fair” is a path to unhappiness- things typically work out the best for good people, and they usually appreciate what good they have enough they are strong enough to handle life when things don’t go their way.
OP
As AndyG ponders the next legal tangle in this drama, he has to give Dad credit for at least doing something right...
My father passed nearly 40 years ago, my mother just recently. Thankfully, she was the brains in the outfit when it came to money and estate planning. Years before she passed, she started moving everything jointly into my name, sold the house, moved into apartments and then assisted living so that when it was time, I could distribute according to her wishes. Luckily, I have a great bond and relationship with my brother and his kids so there was no drama. When I talk about it, no one I have spoken to has had it this easy. Many are like your situation and what you are having to put up with.
Good luck, praying for ya!
Good luck, praying for ya!
my situation was the opposite. my mother was the smart one and kept the family together. she passed away in 2005. my father undid what she had done to prevent the govt. from getting it. Yea Andy my dad bought a brand new vette too ( caused me to have a heart attack ) at 74yrs old ! the man doesn't drive over 50mph ! I've told him when he passes I will drive it to the county tax assessors office and drop it off with a note giving it to them ! He hates taxes now !
OP
My son says he is going to drive the wheels off my Corvettes. I told him I can see empty soda cans, and nachos all over both cars.
Wait till he drives it for the first time, those older ones don't drive nearly as nice as they look.
you aint kidding and I think a lot of people take this for granted. My LJ on 35s drives better than most anything American built before 1980.
now the 67 and earlier vettes drive pretty good ! the 68 and newer drive like their on ICE being they have that long nose !
OP
Man that was nice. I’m not going to lay out any fake humility- I had a real change in my life when I was 26. I began to find out we all have unlimited potential for good. That there is right and wrong and sorry choices get sorry results.
That we can choose to do right and have the courage and faith to do it and face the consequences, and not to go around doing wrong with the sorry excuse that someone died on a cross to make doing wrong ok. If you know something is wrong and hurting you and others you need to stop it, not look for a pass. People need to live like they know they should.
I deliberately try hard to be a good guy- To try to make decisions that I know I can live with. I make all kind of mistakes- mainly because I’m in the game. My to do list will have 45-60 items a day some days. I want commitments kept, my word kept and promises kept. Because it makes me feel good about who I am. I need that. I need to feel like I’m contributing good to the lives of others. People say you can’t really keep your word all the time - hogwash. The first thing you do is watch your mouth and be careful what you promise. It is also just as good to say NO- better than saying yes and not following through. At some point you are a liar.
The second thing is if you can’t do what you said, just let people know. If you do those two things you’ll have enough time to keep your word on the other things. The real deal is being a man and handling what you need to handle.
Everyone of you guys would be proud of how I treat clients- is the customer always right? No. Businesses that say that are usually selling a two dollar item like a hamburger. But they are paying and we have an obligation to give them what they pay for and a good experience as you do it. Even my contracts are structured to create that environment. We don’t give people budgets because it becomes adversarial when they can’t meet the budget- Or even worse they go over budget and don’t have the money- We establish monetary values and as we make purchases we get their approval and guide them through the process so that project ends up exactly what we agreed it would cost based on what they chose. We have about 45 jobs under contract right now, And we will never advertise. work exclusively off referral and we turn down work constantly. @Mike Z can vouch for me a little.
I write well, And I probably get a kick out of trying to get on here and come across as some just really, really cool guy that’s got it all figured out- But most days it’s a dog eat dog world and I’m wearing milk bone underwear.
I have plenty of room to grow. And I’m already pretty full of fertilizer.
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