Oh smog time again it is every year for my tj hear in Sin City… we like our air clean and our girls dirty. And my baby’s been a dirty girl again. The dreaded post card came in the mail the one with the X smog required, ha OK she passed her test last year after lavishing her with gifts and attention so things should be sweet among us this year… I’ve been good to her too, bought her a heavy duty ground kit, fancy one with cables and clamps everywhere, blocks n firewalls and alternator things up front… even gave her a new alternator thing when I accidentally twisted her terminal off attaching the cable, I winced she was indifferent. I even fancied up her injectors with cozy insulators, you know just to keep her comfortable, the things we do for love… being single was cheaper and less complicated.
She’d been parked for a bit, the other girl my wife (the two of them don’t get along) has been in China for a few months so I drive her car around town, she-J has had the battery disconnected so now we need a drive cycle, long story short She-J is pissed, crap OK I’m sleeping on the couch tonight. I run to the dealership buy her some bobbles three throttle body sensors for $630 money is no object for this girl I’m thrilled to find her favorite brand, typical high maintenance they are all the same designer this and designer that.
All right things are gonna be good now, she wearing her new jewels l slide it in… slowly and give a twist, hoping she’s ready and to my surprise she fires right up, so we go for a drive cycle because she is acting real nice but well you know, seems like she’s never satisfied. Driving down the road she’s never run better after a bit we pull into the driveway, with permission I fondle her OBD slot and after a peek I think to myself is she seeing someone else. 3 open emission and a pending p0174 Bank 2… she was just being nice to get something new.
What now I’ve bought her everything a girl could want, and I let her have a fling with someone else last year, she even got a new manifold gasket… so running lean I grab her favorite scent Od Da carb cleaner and start at the intake manifold working from bank 1 to bank 2 and bingo spraying back by the firewall the engine stalls then revs a little. We argue and I say hurtful things… you are never satisfied, you take advantage not seeing my side of things… in the end I apologize.
Now fix her myself or take her to a stranger, if I do her myself should I go ahead and remove a fender or try and reach the manifold bolts through the available space? I’m leaning toward taking her in to a stranger simply because I’ve been laid up with a herniated disk that is just beginning to get better but I haven’t decided. Im getting old a fling might do her good annd after this She will be happy for a little wile maybe we will even make it to next year if I’m lucky?