Construction language

Construction language

Often there is a slight gap between what someone says and what they really mean. If this holds true anywhere it is in the construction industry.


I thought it would be helpful for everyone to get a quick primer on what construction workers say and what that actually means-

I can do anything- This means they’ve been bouncing around for the last 15 years and can’t hold a job anywhere

I am a craftsman- This means they are slow and unsure of what they are doing

I do not take drugs- Usually means they are a raging alcoholic

I do not drink alcohol- This means they are a raging drug abuser

I have not done any drugs except for heroin- This means they’ve spent every dime doing heroin (Someone actually said this)

I had an episode and can’t remember what I said - This means they were nearly blacked out drunk and chewed out the boss ( This happened yesterday)

The countertop is a little bit out of level- This means they didn’t even check it with a level and it’s so bad you can see it with the naked eye

I left the job at 4:30 - This means they quit working about 2 o’clock

My baby mama-This means some girl they knocked up

My car is in the shop- This means they don’t have a car

I left my tools in my other vehicle- This means I pawned everything Saturday

This job looks fantastic- This means it’s actually incomplete and a filthy mess

I will endeavor to come back and add some more there seems to be no end to these.

No primer needed here.... been dealing with "Construction Language" for 36 years....
 
Sir there are times when I want to be out of it so bad that I can’t stand it-

One minute you got a customer going haywire and you get that under control then you got a employee lying about hours and taking Clonopin by the handful

I’m at the point right now where am I actually seriously considering how much more I want to do and how long I want to do it.

I didn't mean to insinuate that I was happy at my current role, just glad I'm not there anymore.... ;)
The grass always APPEARS to be greener elsewhere, but there's not an industry that I'm aware of without bullshit/drawbacks.

To me, WORK is a 4-letter word and I'd rather not do it; sadly... I'm addicted to things like food and shelter, which increases my tolerance for bullshit/drawbacks tremendously...
 
It won't cost that much more - 4 times more than you had thought

We are booked up for the next several weeks - I don't want to ever work for you again

Sure I can have that bid to you on Tuesday - 3 Tuesdays from now

Can't see it from my house - thank god

It's on back order - I forgot to order it to begin with

That's going to be a extra - my bid was to low and I need to make up some extra cash
 
It won't cost that much more - 4 times more than you had thought

We are booked up for the next several weeks - I don't want to ever work for you again

Sure I can have that bid to you on Tuesday - 3 Tuesdays from now

Can't see it from my house - thank god

It's on back order - I forgot to order it to begin with

That's going to be a extra - my bid was to low and I need to make up some extra cash

Oh lord- now we are getting really truthful. Good stuff
 
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Yeah most of the time what they really mean is they don’t want to start at all....And most of those guys here lately that start late, Want to get off early so they don’t spend as much of their precious time at work.

I’ve got a worker like this- and doesn’t have a vehicle and loves to play video games-

He has two children and is about 40 years old

Man, I'm gonna have to stop asking that I guess. When I ask it, what I mean is, is the artificial lighting good enough to start at 6-7 or do we need to wait for sun. The answers I get are nearly universally later than when I would have been willing to be there.

Did some work in Montana in December and had to wait until 8 for the sun to come out well enough to see what we were doing.
 
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This just in-

“ Well if you don’t think I worked you just don’t have to pay me”

This means that your visit to my shop where I’m working by the hour for you that showed everything sitting in the same place all week got me caught.


In other words this guy turned in 38 hours and didn’t do anything.

Maybe worked six or eight hours, maybe.

When someone makes a statement like that what that means is that they didn’t put in any hours and they’re not going to fight for something they didn’t earn.


We pay hourly and we let workers track hours and it is a continual problem.

Everyone works remotely so there’s really almost no way to keep up with it accurately and everybody rounds up.
 
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This just in-

“ Well if you don’t think I worked you just don’t have to pay me”

This means that your visit to my shop where I’m working by the hour for you that showed everything sitting in the same place all week got me caught.


In other words this guy turned in 38 hours and didn’t do anything.

Maybe worked six or eight hours, maybe.

When someone makes a statement like that what that means is that they didn’t put in any hours and they’re not going to fight for something they didn’t earn.


We pay hourly and we let workers track hours and it is a continual problem.

Everyone works remotely so there’s really almost no way to keep up with it accurately and everybody rounds up.

Dang. Guessing these guys aren't at the level to be able to quote by the job and stick with it? It's too bad we don't live in a world where everybody would bid the job and if they missed, because nobody's perfect, they could come back and say "hey man, I'm sorry but this is taking longer than I estimated. It would be cool if you could throw $x or so on top, but I understand if not".
 
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Dang. Guessing these guys aren't at the level to be able to quote by the job and stick with it? It's too bad we don't live in a world where everybody would bid the job and if they missed, because nobody's perfect, they could come back and say "hey man, I'm sorry but this is taking longer than I estimated. It would be cool if you could throw $x or so on top, but I understand if not".

I would be thrilled to pay by the job if we did work consistently that could easily be quantified. The variety is the challenge.

Trim by the foot is a good example of something that works well for “by the job” pay.
 
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Today I am up in my barn rafters hanging my hardtop hanger, and what do I spy hiding up here? Some dipshit was too lazy to get a piece of lumber that was long enough and joined that little light-colored piece of who-knows-what to span the gap.
It’s been 20 years since they built this barn but I hope that lazy SOB feels me cursing him, wherever he is!

IMG_1514.jpeg
 
Today I am up in my barn rafters hanging my hardtop hanger, and what do I spy hiding up here? Some dipshit was too lazy to get a piece of lumber that was long enough and joined that little light-colored piece of who-knows-what to span the gap.
It’s been 20 years since they built this barn but I hope that lazy SOB feels me cursing him, wherever he is!
I'm sure he's sleeping fine. ;)

In the first house i bought, the kitchen cabinets appeared to be 'contractor made' rather than purchased.
When I finally tore into the kitchen for a much-needed upgrade, I swore the guy that built them worked in a lumber yard, and he snuck every piece of wood used to build that kitchen home from work in his glovebox.
 
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Down here, in northern hell, all outside jobs start at 6 or 6:30 a.m. so people can knock off before it gets over 100F. Just cannot work safely in that kind of heat.

As a project manager for 20 years, I did not have hire/fire authority, but I could kick people off of my project team. One guy showed up with a cigar in his mouth for an indoor IT project in a non-smoking environment. I told him to ditch the stogie. He started giving me sh*t about it not being lit. I sent him back to the office and they disappeared him. Another guy showed up at 9 a.m. every morning for a week. Every morning I told him that starting time is 8 a.m. Friday morning at 9 I sent him packing. A third guy got hired because his resume said he was an MCSE (Microsoft Certified Systems Eng). After about 10 minutes it became obvious that he lied - away he went. It was nice not having to screw around with HR and a bunch of paperwork and assorted BS.

A very successful business leader I knew used to say, "90% of winning is just showing up."
 
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Down here, in northern hell, all outside jobs start at 6 or 6:30 a.m. so people can knock off before it gets over 100F. Just cannot work safely in that kind of heat.

As a project manager for 20 years, I did not have hire/fire authority, but I could kick people off of my project team. One guy showed up with a cigar in his mouth for an indoor IT project in a non-smoking environment. I told him to ditch the stogie. He started giving me sh*t about it not being lit. I sent him back to the office and they disappeared him. Another guy showed up at 9 a.m. every morning for a week. Every morning I told him that starting time is 8 a.m. Friday morning at 9 I sent him packing. A third guy got hired because his resume said he was an MCSE (Microsoft Certified Systems Eng). After about 10 minutes it became obvious that he lied - away he went. It was nice not having to screw around with HR and a bunch of paperwork and assorted BS.

A very successful business leader I knew used to say, "90% of winning is just showing up."

Pffftt... stopping at 100°. The Phoenix valley would still be mud bricks if we did that here.