Dad falls apart (AndyG lawyers up)

AndyG

Because some other guys are perverts
Lifetime Supporting Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2018
Messages
16,168
Location
Alabama
My 81 year old single dad was living on his own 6 weeks ago, 2 residences, 9 cars. tractors, guns etc. Had been losing weight, occasional cognitive slip ups but doing pretty good. Always was a sharp guy.

Then suddenly he fell apart- within 72 hours, he was mentally gone and can’t walk.

We are doing all we can for him, but things aren’t great - and we (my sister and I) start sorting out his affairs- trying to figure out his care and the aftermath.

There is a lady we don’t know who is holed up in his primary residence and contends it’s hers, has papers to prove it, etc. Seems the relationship may have been transactional. We get concerned due to the 5 year medicaid lookback law and the potential of her having the house and him being penalized by Medicare/Medicaid for gifting the property. Not cool. She takes an aggressive posture when we approach her and also puts up no trespassing signs. One suggestion was to just talk nicely to her. I laugh til I nearly pee and advise our attorney to proceed with eviction to force her hand to show the document.

We found a will photocopy today. Oddly it mentions nothing but him giving her the property, nothing about anything else.

Hmmm, that is odd. Wills don’t usually cover one asset when someone has a lot of stuff. Sounds coerced. Plus he is still alive. So it is not hers yet if its legit.

Let’s take a closer look. Hmmmm, it is signed by him, and a notary, and ...witnessed by.....her. This is great....in Alabama a will has to be witnessed by 2 parties and the signature of anyone who stands to receive property doesn’t count. At all.

What is the lesson?

First, Watch your parents. If a friend of the family or relative says you need to check on them, you probably do.

Second, Lawyers can be worth the money and if they had not been cheapskates and got one it would have easily stuck. It was likely her idea- a house is worth a a few hundred bucks. At least look online how to do it.

Third, don’t quit easy or give up to soon- one party involved just said “oh shes got a deed, well let’s not fight it.”
Uh, no. If she had a deed she would likely record it - even though there is no time limit in our state.

Lastly, while some family members were getting advice from acquaintances, Andy decides fast- this is a job for a pro and hires a real estate attorney and an elder law firm. That know each other. Fast.

Now, to balance this out- Dad was likely competent at the time and for some reason likely wanted to do this- he had mentioned it. Now what Dad would want is someone to change his diaper and check his catheter- and his youngest son is going to see he gets the care he is entitled to with the money he earned, and that my sister survives this ordeal. Had the lady acted nice and been someone we even knew and liked, and had no criminal record or pattern of these type actions, and not taken a nasty posture, despite legalities I would have respected Dad’s wishes and let her have the place when he passed. My sister concurs.

Now it is just going to be too much fun to do that. At this point it is about what is best for him, and I’m up for it- big time.

Will keep you posted.
 
Last edited:
Been there done that. Similar situation on a family loan that a relative had a poorly signed document saying it was forgiven by someone with dementia (no I’m not related to Biden). It ended up in court and made the people who created this notarized piece of crap look extremely bad and their plan didn’t work.

They still got their money but it was in the form of a reduction of their inheritance instead of a reduction of all the other family members inheritances.

It’s really sad what can happen to families. At least this lady isn’t family.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: Chris
Well of all things the law was changed in 2020 and it looks like it could stand....But the upside is he is still alive and my sister has power of attorney so it’s just going to get down to whether she wants to sell the house. If she does that the gift will fail and the recipient has no claim against the estate. Or we can sign it over to Medicaid if he needs a long-term care.

It will be interesting to hear what the lawyers advise today.
 
This kind of nonsense makes me sick. About a year before my Grandfather passed away, a woman moved in with him, convincing him to add her to the will. Long story short, she ended up stealing everything and the few legitimate family members he had received nothing. As soon as he passed, she quickly sold everything, then moved on to a new sucker. My Mother wouldn't fight it, God rest her sole, because she said that's not what he would have wanted. I told her BS, that if he was in his right mind, he would have wanted those things to go to the family members who would appreciate them.

Like your case, my Grandfather had a collection of cars. Three of those cars, a 1963 C10 pickup, a '74 Super Beetle, and a 1970 SS 454 Chevelle were supposed to go to me, but they didn't. Her Son ended up with them, which he sold the first two, then totaled the third (Chevelle). Personally, I didn't care about the cars or money. What I did care about was the fact that he taught me to drive on the C10, he gave me the Beetle as my first car, and I helped him work on the Chevelle routinely as a kid. He was responsible for teaching me to fix things, he was a mechanic with the USPS for a living, and for instilling in me the value of maintaining what you drove.

That said, keep up the fight, because people like that are scum! :mad:
 
This kind of nonsense makes me sick. About a year before my Grandfather passed away, a woman moved in with him, convincing him to add her to the will. Long story short, she ended up stealing everything and the few legitimate family members he had received nothing. As soon as he passed, she quickly sold everything, then moved on to a new sucker. My Mother wouldn't fight it, God rest her sole, because she said that's not what he would have wanted. I told her BS, that if he was in his right mind, he would have wanted those things to go to the family members who would appreciate them.

Like your case, my Grandfather had a collection of cars. Three of those cars, a 1963 C10 pickup, a '74 Super Beetle, and a 1970 SS 454 Chevelle were supposed to go to me, but they didn't. Her Son ended up with them, which he sold the first two, then totaled the third (Chevelle). Personally, I didn't care about the cars or money. What I did care about was the fact that he taught me to drive on the C10, he gave me the Beetle as my first car, and I helped him work on the Chevelle routinely as a kid. He was responsible for teaching me to fix things, he was a mechanic with the USPS for a living, and for instilling in me the value of maintaining what you drove.

That said, keep up the fight, because people like that are scum! :mad:

Thank you for sharing that- One thing that stands out I’m learning is this kind of thing happens far more than people think-

This is pretty much her method of operation- Right now the important thing is that he is still alive in her power of attorney could drastically change this simply by selling the property -

I am sorry to hear that you went through what you did- I really am.
 
I rank end-of-life gold-diggers right up there with child-molesters. The hottest fires of hell await them.

Keep up the fight, AndyG! These gold-diggers are repeat offenders because they usually win. Let's hope this one doesn't!
 
There are times when an attorney is needed, not many, but this is one of them. A good eldercare attorney can guide you through medicaid options, it takes a long time and tons of documentation will be needed. My FIL spent $15,000 with an attorney getting my MIL on community medicaid (might be a NY thing) then full blown medicaid. Since he signed a spousal refusal form basically saying he would not pay for her care, they could not touch his house, IRA or pension (this also might be a NY thing). The only money the dementia nursing home could touch was her mandatory minimum IRA distribution. When she past my FIL got what was left of her IRA.

Point is a good attorney guided him right, your real estate attorney can deal with her scam. I wish you the best of luck getting this gold digger out of everything.
 
How old would you say the lady is? Sounds like she's been running a con on him.
 
same thing here, except instead of a gold-digging stranger, it's my own uncle. He's 56 years old and has never held a real job, so he's been supported for his entire life by my grandparents or the two wives he's been married to (but no longer is). My grandfather passed away in 2016 and my grandmother has deteriorated into dementia, so my uncle has had himself put in charge, manipulated her into changing her and my grandfathers will, etc so that he can move into their house and live the rest of his life on their savings, leaving my mom (who never asked them for a dollar since she was 18) with nothing.

My mom doesn't want to fight it, 'cause my dad has done way better than her dad ever did so they don't need it and the amount of money involved isn't worth the emotional capital it would take. If their estimates are right, my uncle has robbed my grandmother and alienated his only sister from his life over an amount of money that might not even be much more than my annual salary. Truth is, he's so horrible with money that he'll blow it all on toys and maintaining the image he uses to attract equally damaged and gullible women and will probably end up losing the house in a tax sale in 5 years and without his parents around to enable it, the only family left to leech on will be his two dipshit sons that aren't any more capable of helping him than he is.
 
Thank you for sharing that- One thing that stands out I’m learning is this kind of thing happens far more than people think-

This is pretty much her method of operation- Right now the important thing is that he is still alive in her power of attorney could drastically change this simply by selling the property -

I am sorry to hear that you went through what you did- I really am.

Sell the property. Its a sellers market right now. My Dads wife didn't give me one thing after my Dad died. I went over to his house the day after he died and sat in his work truck and grabbed his tape measure and carhart toboggan . He was a contractor all his life. Had a huge house and muscle cars, all I would of liked to get was some of the model cars I built him when I was a kid. That woman has only called me one time in the 6 years he's been gone to sign off on some of his rental property he had so she could sale it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AndyG
Hospital just called. He has only days to live.

As George Jones once sang-

“The race is on.”

Sis has POA. Was a thankful stroke of luck dad did it last doctor visit they went to when he was well.

I’ll sell it for a dollar if needed.

I’m squeezing the attorneys as hard as possible. Breathe Andy.
 
Hospital just called. He has only days to live.

As George Jones once sang-

“The race is on.”

Sis has POA. Was a thankful stroke of luck dad did it last doctor visit they went to when he was well.

I’ll sell it for a dollar if needed.

I’m squeezing the attorneys as hard as possible. Breathe Andy.

No matter what it should be a good story to tell.
 
  • Like
Reactions: AndyG
I have a friend who took her brother all the way to the state Supreme Court when he tried to take the entire family farm after her dad died.

No will, just him as POA. Her brother went from trying to take it all to getting less than 1/4 after the court ordered everyone's legal bills get paid out of the estate.

She didn’t need any of the estate, but she did it out of principle. It took her around 5 years to beat him so you can imagine the legal costs.
 
Last edited: