So after a day of research (weather has been too crappy to be outside) it looks like the fogs simply run through a switch in the MFS with heavy contacts but a poorly designed support post that melts when the contacts get hot from the current draw. In the diagram, the relay is simply the high beam switch that turns the fogs off when the high beams are turned on.This sounds like a plan. I do know that fogs must shut off with high beams in Commiefornia at least. Or at least that used to be the case - dunno about other states, etc...
So in the end I think I'm going to put a relay between 13/14 and call it good - that should get everything going again.
And yes, Calif. has an excess of stupid laws... lots of them are either unenforceable, or our friends in blue simply don't want to become fog light police! And trust me, with the new $0 bail law here that's putting us all in danger, they have much more important fish to fry!