It's been 1 month since I heard the worst news I've ever received. I don't really have an objective with this post but just wanted somewhere to unload my mind.
July 28 it was just a normal Friday afternoon, just got off of work and was at the local pizza place to pick up my order. Checked my phone because I was just waiting on my order and noticed a friend request from someone that I went to high school with. Didn't think much of it and just accepted it, I thought we were already friends. Right after that I get a facebook messenger call but I ignore it because I can't half hear when I'm in a crowded area plus I thought maybe she accidentally called me. After that I get a message saying that she needed a phone number to call from me or my mom and to call her back. I still didn't think much of it because it sounded like an emergency they had.
I left the pizza place and called my mom so she could contact the girl. Mom told me that dad had gone back to the family farm that day which wasn't uncommon, the girl's father has been friends with my dad for a really long time and he lives basically on/next to that land. I could tell from mom's voice she was concerned because he normally calls her back before driving back (takes about 2.5 hours). Mom called back and told me that dad was on the way to the hospital in an ambulance and for some reason I wasn't completely freaking out. Just trying to think through what I needed to do next. I thought maybe he just passed out from the heat because it was crazy hot that day. Almost home and my wife texts me to come home. I can tell my wife is upset and I just tell her I already know and that I will need to go to my mom's house and we'll probably need to go down tomorrow to figure out what to do next. That's when my wife looks at me me and says "I think your dad has passed away, I talked to the sheriff" I just let out a painful "What?"
I don't remember much other than just hanging onto the kitchen counter, I was just in a daze and I finally snapped out of it and told her I needed to go the Murfreesboro (Where my mom lives) I pack a bag real quick for a couple of days because I have no idea what to do next. Wife is saying maybe she misheard but right before I leave mom calls me back and tells me the same news.
We don't know exactly what happened because he was by himself but they found him lying on his back next to his truck. He left his 4 wheeler in the fields and apparently walked out. At first we thought he just couldn't get it started but now we think he just lost it. We never found his truck key, cell phone, chain saw, and cooler. He was getting more forgetful the older he got and his mother passed from dementia so he was probably headed that way. He wasn't the poster child for health but he also wasn't bad for someone 75. The death certificate lists cardiac arrythmia and cardiac arrest as the cause of death but I'm thinking it was initiated by a heat stroke. I wouldn't think he would be lying on his back if he had a heart attack. The friends son in law found him and he was an EMT in a past job. They did not attempt to resuscitate.
I've already lost all 4 of my grandparents and 2 uncles but this has hit so much harder. He was the most influential person in my life and my best man in my wedding. If I ever needed advice that was the person I talked to about everything. I always feared that day coming but never expected it to hit unexpectedly. I figured I had at least 5 more good years and maybe 10 total left.
Things I did not expect.
I knew I would be very upset when the day finally came, I just didn't expect how physically painful that would hit me.
It's very lonely. My mom, 2 sister, and me are hit the hardest and we are still grieving pretty hard but everyone else has kind of moved on. I don't blame people for that but it just hurts to know you and 3 other people are still in this nightmare while most everyone else has recovered. That may not be a fair assessment for some of the family members, I'm sure they are grieving it's just I know I'm thinking about it constantly for the last month.
I did not think I would be this busy. From all sorts of things to deal with. My main concern is making my mom's life as easy as possible. Some companies and government things have been very helpful while others I'm ready to go burn their building down.
He was a teacher for nearly 30 years, I know I'm biased but he was the best teacher I had twice. Algebra 2 and Calculus. There were a lot of people commenting on facebook and on the obituary website about how he was their favorite teacher. A few people even mentioned that the teacher in-service that same day he passed, they mentioned his name and how he influenced them.
From my wedding
July 28 it was just a normal Friday afternoon, just got off of work and was at the local pizza place to pick up my order. Checked my phone because I was just waiting on my order and noticed a friend request from someone that I went to high school with. Didn't think much of it and just accepted it, I thought we were already friends. Right after that I get a facebook messenger call but I ignore it because I can't half hear when I'm in a crowded area plus I thought maybe she accidentally called me. After that I get a message saying that she needed a phone number to call from me or my mom and to call her back. I still didn't think much of it because it sounded like an emergency they had.
I left the pizza place and called my mom so she could contact the girl. Mom told me that dad had gone back to the family farm that day which wasn't uncommon, the girl's father has been friends with my dad for a really long time and he lives basically on/next to that land. I could tell from mom's voice she was concerned because he normally calls her back before driving back (takes about 2.5 hours). Mom called back and told me that dad was on the way to the hospital in an ambulance and for some reason I wasn't completely freaking out. Just trying to think through what I needed to do next. I thought maybe he just passed out from the heat because it was crazy hot that day. Almost home and my wife texts me to come home. I can tell my wife is upset and I just tell her I already know and that I will need to go to my mom's house and we'll probably need to go down tomorrow to figure out what to do next. That's when my wife looks at me me and says "I think your dad has passed away, I talked to the sheriff" I just let out a painful "What?"
I don't remember much other than just hanging onto the kitchen counter, I was just in a daze and I finally snapped out of it and told her I needed to go the Murfreesboro (Where my mom lives) I pack a bag real quick for a couple of days because I have no idea what to do next. Wife is saying maybe she misheard but right before I leave mom calls me back and tells me the same news.
We don't know exactly what happened because he was by himself but they found him lying on his back next to his truck. He left his 4 wheeler in the fields and apparently walked out. At first we thought he just couldn't get it started but now we think he just lost it. We never found his truck key, cell phone, chain saw, and cooler. He was getting more forgetful the older he got and his mother passed from dementia so he was probably headed that way. He wasn't the poster child for health but he also wasn't bad for someone 75. The death certificate lists cardiac arrythmia and cardiac arrest as the cause of death but I'm thinking it was initiated by a heat stroke. I wouldn't think he would be lying on his back if he had a heart attack. The friends son in law found him and he was an EMT in a past job. They did not attempt to resuscitate.
I've already lost all 4 of my grandparents and 2 uncles but this has hit so much harder. He was the most influential person in my life and my best man in my wedding. If I ever needed advice that was the person I talked to about everything. I always feared that day coming but never expected it to hit unexpectedly. I figured I had at least 5 more good years and maybe 10 total left.
Things I did not expect.
I knew I would be very upset when the day finally came, I just didn't expect how physically painful that would hit me.
It's very lonely. My mom, 2 sister, and me are hit the hardest and we are still grieving pretty hard but everyone else has kind of moved on. I don't blame people for that but it just hurts to know you and 3 other people are still in this nightmare while most everyone else has recovered. That may not be a fair assessment for some of the family members, I'm sure they are grieving it's just I know I'm thinking about it constantly for the last month.
I did not think I would be this busy. From all sorts of things to deal with. My main concern is making my mom's life as easy as possible. Some companies and government things have been very helpful while others I'm ready to go burn their building down.
He was a teacher for nearly 30 years, I know I'm biased but he was the best teacher I had twice. Algebra 2 and Calculus. There were a lot of people commenting on facebook and on the obituary website about how he was their favorite teacher. A few people even mentioned that the teacher in-service that same day he passed, they mentioned his name and how he influenced them.
From my wedding
