Let’s hear your job burnout stories

[AndyG]

At the end of last weekend I began to realize I had a problem. I’ve known for a while, but often things reach a point you just can’t deny it.


My story should be titled “Well you didn’t learn last time did ya”

In 2013 I physically crashed- overwork, energy drinks, poor sleep and exercise took a brutal toll. My blood levels showed very low testosterone and Vitamin D among other things.

I was prescribed testosterone and ultimately came back to a great extent- and with my hormone infused 50 ish year old body I began to work to get on top in business with a vengeance. Eventually found myself running on sugar and caffeine and fast food.

So here I am in 2024, 57, finding myself in the last stages of job burnout....no drive, no joy, cynicism, and lack of efficacy. It is not that I want to fix this, it is that I have no choice. Its that serious. Being a self employed contractor is a hard, hard job. Just being either is tough enough.

I know what to do and I am doing it - drink more water, eat healthy , lose weight, exercise and sleep along with saying no and setting boundaries.

I’d love to hear from you guys of situations you’ve been through or witnessed to give me ideas and encouragement.

Thanks
Andy

 

[Danarch]

I am close to you, I’ll be 57 before the year is over.

My burnout came about 6 years ago. I was managing over $100 million dollars worth of construction as an architect / project manager. Most of our work was DoD, some was State of CA, mostly designing Cal-Fire Headquarters. We had work across the states, and some international.

As an example one project was at Yokota AB, in Japan. Design team members were in Washington, So. CA, Hawaii, Florida, and Japan. While it was a great job and I learned a lot, had some decent travel to different states and Japan it took its toll. Working 50+ hour weeks. Often I was in the office by 4:30 am.

It all hit me the weekend before Christmas. There I was in a hospital waiting room, with my laptop emailing DoD contracting officers, engineering consultants, etc. while my 16 year old son was having hip surgery for the second time. I sat there realizing this not how I wanted to spend the rest of my career, I needed a change for me, my wife, and five kids.

I talked with my wife, we each agreed a change was needed. So blessed to have her support.

I started looking for options. God blessed me and within 1.5 months I had three interviews with the state, and two offers. It was a big pay cut for us, but my wife and I knew a change was needed. I remember praying on the way home and worrying about the pay cut. I heard as clearly as anything “Haven’t I always provided for you?”.

I made the change, trusting God in it. Within 8 months I was promoted two levels higher then I started, and people work for years at the state to get those opportunities. It still took a few years to get back to where we were financially, but it was a change we needed to make.

I don’t know where you are at, but for me it was realizing I needed a change. What I was doing wasn’t worth the money, prestige (if that is what you want to call it). I need to trust in God and that He opened the door for me to walk through it and realize it is not in my control. If I would not have had my wife’s backing it would have been a harder decision to make, so blessed she was there with me.

Six years later it is one of the better decisions I made.

 

[MikekiM]

Ugh.. at 62 I am suffering with burn-out-management right now. Have been for years. I started a response to @AndyG and in short order it turned into a piss-n-moan post. I realized I don't have any solutions, ideas or encouragement. I am all ears. I probably could use a good therapist. Even a bad therapist would be good.

 

[Shank]

Probably not the thread I need to follow as I am in my 20’s but these posts are a reality that I fear. I work for a fairly large local company and have been told they will help me to get into any position in the company I desire. My desire to be in upper management is low due to stress, hours, the fact that a lot of people here view work as life.

On the flip side it’d be a shame to cap progression in my 20’s.

 

[LostintheForest]

I could write novels about the auto industry, but to summarize: don’t do it.

 

[Westtown Willy]

58, the last 33 of it as a litigation attorney has left a mark, the stress can kill, has killed many. I barely recall what life was like at age 25 & younger before I began carrying this burden 24/7/365, it never goes away, it never sleeps. Lots of physical activity, lots of music & tv, lots of laying in a hammock all help. Beer too, in reasonable quantities at appropriate times, my definition of that is a couple once per week. Employing help, helps too. I’ve been a one-man wrecking crew most of my career, meaning I handle each & every task related to the case from intake through appeal, if necessary, including the mundane clerical tasks. In the past few years I’ve relented somewhat with a phenomenal assistant, I’m also mentoring a young associate that I’ll pass the baton to in the not-too-distant future. I’ve promised myself that the moment that happens I shall celebrate with an extra special gummy bear, the effects of which I have not experienced since before this adventure began.

 

[AndyG]

Probably not the thread I need to follow as I am in my 20’s but these posts are a reality that I fear. I work for a fairly large local company and have been told they will help me to get into any position in the company I desire. My desire to be in upper management is low due to stress, hours, the fact that a lot of people here view work as life.

On the flip side it’d be a shame to cap progression in my 20’s.

The possibility of burnout is not a death sentence- It’s like a car accident or something you know that can happen but you can avoid if you watch what’s going on. And dont race all the time.

 

[freedom_in_4low]

The older I get (I'm only 41) the more I become ok with and even appreciate "working for the man". I may very well be leaving some possible income on the table but the stress of just being a cog in the machine is a lot less than that of being the whole machine. Once you have enough to not worry about putting food on the table, more money doesn't buy any happiness.

My dad came to the same realization pretty young. He finished law school and went for city, state, and eventually federal jobs - retired basically as high as he could get without being a political appointee (intentionally). I believe he would have been the first choice to prosecute the OKC bomber but the trial was held in Denver and I know he would have said no. He was a fantastic litigator and could probably have made millions in private practice but a present father is worth more to his family than a wealthy one and I would never have wanted something different.

I'm probably somewhat in a minority of who will recognize this quote by Tony Stark in Avengers: Endgame but it really hit hard. "No amount of money ever bought a second of time."

 

[JustDandee]

Is it burn out, depression, or being close to the retired finishing line…the marathoners wall… trying to sort through that myself. It’s not that I don’t want to do nothing buts it is more of I am tired of taking work home with me. A very strong desire to find balance to adjust to my lower metabolism and wondering if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence …if I could find a position that I could just punch a clock and leave work behind at 5:00.

• Exercise seems to help, I had that patella tendon snap almost a year ago so it’s been thing to to try to get back my mobility. Can’t run anymore but long walks, push ups, sit-ups are things I am working into a routine. There is something to be said about keeping the body well helps the mind
• For you, maybe you need a number 2 guy? Enough skill set that they are both customer facing competent as well as operational. Turn some of this over or all of it…. Sort of like having a rental property, let it work for you.
• Define what you want to do 5 years from now, make that a goal/ vision with its own to do list that.
• And pray about it, often…direction, patience, help with the plan… being grateful for what you have.

right now I swing between, pulling a pin on a grenade - walking out on work…and everything is cool, I got this. And this job is a good thing and that grass is Not greener…. In other words I am still all over the board but less so than a month ago and more purposeful with my planning.

 

[Granite]

my path has maybe been a little different. I joined a small-to- mid-sized company and worked there, loving it for a decade. Then we got acquired by a big company that didn’t really do what we did but wanted to. They left us alone for a few years but since then it’s been a slow, steady decline in career progression, rewards, motivation, etc. I used to love working hard because there was progress and reward. Now it’s just ambiguity and politics; very demotivating.

I’ve been stewing on this for a few years now and I’ve realized a few things. When I loved my job it was many things all in one: challenges, the opportunity to help people, a meritocracy that rewarded hard work and viable solutions, a work “family” of great people that had each others backs and achieved more together than any of us could on our own; and yes it was providing me with identity and self worth to a large extent.

Now work hardly provides any of that, and actually I’m glad it happened because it helped me realize I need to be finding those things elsewhere to prepare for retirement.
So I’ve invested my time in a couple of side business ventures and am looking into more financial investing that will get me to financial freedom and allow me to redesign how and where I find all those good things in my life. It’s a journey … probably be a few more years before I can quit this company, but I’m in a better mental place already.

 

[Brianj5600]

I could write novels about the auto industry, but to summarize: don’t do it.

I recently retired from the GM Spring Hill plant...I know what you mean. I worked for GM for 38.5 years and should have retired 4 years ago.

AndyG thanks for starting this post. I do need help to get my drive back.

 

[MaximusLJR06]

I feel like I'm fairly young to be posting in here at 35, but I was pretty burnt out about a year an half ago and had to make a change. At 28 I started a new career path as a civil construction estimator, I was coming from nuclear security at the time. I had field experience ranging from laboring, running heavy equipment and doing asphalt paving, so not coming in as a complete newbie. The company I started at was also where I received all my field experience. When I started, our yearly rev was $60 million. Over the next 5 years we grew to $140 million and didn't add any additional estimators (6 of us). Our basis was you win 10% of the work you bid on average. So to win $60 mill we need to bid $600 mill of work. $100 mill per estimator per year, if broken down evenly. This was doable, typically working on 3-4 bids at a time. It was still stressful, but not insane. With the growth each estimator was now expected to bid $230 mill a year and we were working on 6-8 bids at the same time with no down time. After a year of this I was pretty spent and then a second year with no change. Started having daily arguments with my wife, blood pressure was high, had no drive to do anything outside of work, literally told my wife multiple times that I just want to come home and stare at a wall and do nothing because I'm fried. I pretty much stopped doing my leatherwork hobby, stopped working on the jeep, pretty much had no drive to do anything.

Year 3 was the start of trying to find a change, started applying to any job I could with decent pay. We even looked at moving to the mts to get away from it. Eventually I got a job offer back at the nuclear power plant I worked at before. It was such a relief to see the light at the end of the tunnel and have an escape. And then literally the day I get that job offer, the construction company I work for gives me a job offer to be the estimator at one of their sister companies that only deals in conservation, stream restoration, and floodplain mitigation type projects. Which this is right down my alley, I love the outdoors and was trying to find jobs in conservation at one point. This was a super hard decision though because I absolutely hated estimating at this point. Fast forward a year an half, I turned down the nuclear plant job and now estimate the conservation company and it was a 180 degree flip. I've never enjoyed my job more than I do now. I'm not overworked with bids, the work atmosphere is 100x better and I feel valued by my boss and others in this company.

After experiencing all this, I don't think I'd ever let myself fall into that burnout state again. I would rather quit my job than become that version of myself again.

 

[Westtown Willy]

The older I get (I'm only 41) the more I become ok with and even appreciate "working for the man". I may very well be leaving some possible income on the table but the stress of just being a cog in the machine is a lot less than that of being the whole machine. Once you have enough to not worry about putting food on the table, more money doesn't buy any happiness.

My experience has been the opposite of that stress-wise, it was much harder on me doing the same work for someone else. Also, self-employment isn't necessarily about mo-money, for me anyway, autonomy trumps money 7 days a week; I work fewer hours and still make more money than I did when I was employed. I spent the middle 15 years of my career working for the man & it was a whole other level of suck, at least in my experience, compared to the sucky parts of self-employment, and they do exist. To me the analysis is simple, when you work for yourself you only need to earn what you need for yourself, you can work harder & earn more than you need, to each his own, but those decisions are self-regulated. That's a decision that's taken away from you when employed - you have to earn what you need plus a profit factor to justify your existence, in the end employees are individual profit centers to be realistic. The other factor as indicated is autonomy which in my experience is more important than the financial end of it. Asking for permission to do, anything, isn't in my DNA.

 

[Brianj5600]

I could write novels about the auto industry, but to summarize: don’t do it.

I recently retired from the GM Spring Hill plant...I know what you mean. I worked for GM for 38.5 years and should have retired 4 years age.

Thanks for posting this @AndyG . I need to go to a men's clinic and see what my levels are at. Right now I have no drive.

 

[BlueC]

The older I get (I'm only 41) the more I become ok with and even appreciate "working for the man". I may very well be leaving some possible income on the table but the stress of just being a cog in the machine is a lot less than that of being the whole machine. Once you have enough to not worry about putting food on the table, more money doesn't buy any happiness.

It's funny you say that, because I feel the opposite. Being self-employed I am "the machine", it is a burden that sucks from time to time, but there is no way I'd voluntarily go back to working for some big company, I just value my freedom too much. I haven't been woken up by an alarm clock since 2015. No one has told me what to do, or bitched at me because something wasn't as they dictated. If I want to stop working and go play with the kids, or take a ride, or just do whatever, I do, and that freedom is what keeps me going through the hard times at work. I'll admit, "working for the man" would be a lot easier, and I'm a little envious of people with PTO from time to time, but I value my freedom too much. Besides, those people with PTO only have so much time off before they have to look for a new employer. Last year we went to the beach for 4-5 days at a time about every 6 weeks.

It is the freedom to do what I want, when I want, that gets me through hard times at work.

 

[WestCoastDan]

Well, I'm not trying to out-piss or out-moan anyone, but I'm 55. I was laid off from my management position in March of 23.
Finally found a new role in June, but it was a 30+ mile commute (60 round trip).
No problem, I'll just take the bike, right...

3 weeks in I get clipped by a hit & run driver on the freeway.

It took all summer to recover and rebuild the bike, and as one might expect, that new role was no longer available when I was finally released for work.

New job started in December. It's still in my field/industry, but it's a totally different role at a rep agency instead of at a manufacturer.
The pay is considerably less. I literally lost 10 years of professional growth and income, but at least I work from home.

I've never worked so hard for so little. I'm losing ground by staying in this role, but I like to eat and pay rent.

Same testosterone drop that others my age have mentioned, and it's no joke.

Weight gain and lethargy took over, but they also brought along some anxiety, depression and a heaping dose of resentment to the party.

I've turned into the "get of my lawn" guy, about EVERYTHING.

Returned to cycling to get some much needed exercise and I've now dropped over 20 pounds by riding to the beach and back most days since the spring.
It's ~15 miles.

Find yourself a healthy outlet and hit it full speed.

You still have worth, value and you are not finished.

 

[Westtown Willy]

It's funny you say that, because I feel the opposite. Being self-employed I am "the machine", it is a burden that sucks from time to time, but there is no way I'd voluntarily go back to working for some big company, I just value my freedom too much. I haven't been woken up by an alarm clock since 2015. No one has told me what to do, or bitched at me because something wasn't as they dictated. If I want to stop working and go play with the kids, or take a ride, or just do whatever, I do, and that freedom is what keeps me going through the hard times at work. I'll admit, "working for the man" would be a lot easier, and I'm a little envious of people with PTO from time to time, but I value my freedom too much. Besides, those people with PTO only have so much time off before they have to look for a new employer. Last year we went to the beach for 4-5 days at a time about every 6 weeks.

It is the freedom to do what I want, when I want, that gets me through hard times at work.

Yup, I also think there’s a lot of misconceptions about self-employment. Many self-employed people tend to be highly motivated & driven workaholics by nature which is what drives them to build their own business; this likely gives the illusion that those things are a constant & necessary component of working for yourself for everyone, and that probably deters many from trying it. It’s certainly not the case for all. I started my career on my own & intended to stay the course, but then two kids appeared really quickly about 5 years in & with a stay-at-home wife I fell for the sure thing. I’ll admit it worked as expected, steady check, benefits…., they don't call them the velvet handcuffs for nothing. I told myself for years it was necessary, until I couldn’t convince myself of that anymore. I split probably days or less away from a heart attack, immediately went from 40+ hours to around 15-20, with no dip in income, and a smile I couldn’t wipe off my face for about 5 years. On the flip-side if I really hustled & put in my old job hours I probably would’ve doubled/tripled my income, but that wasn’t important to me. My hours are up now to around 30/week by choice as I round 3rd base towards the end of my career, still padding things, but I still work less than I ever did when employed, make a lot more dough & come & go as I please and all that good stuff. There are downsides as you said, & they can suck bad, at times really bad, but the further I get from a job the further I want to get. If big money is your thing, I believe self-employment is a no-brainer, and if quality of life is your thing, self-employment is even more of a no-brainer.

All that said, I still dream of working the morning shift at a bakery as my ‘retirement gig’

 

[Apparition]

Self employed people tend to be happier when they don't have a bunch of employees.

 

[BlueC]

Self employed people tend to be happier when they don't have a bunch of employees.

That seems to be very true. I only sub out a few things here and there, so I have no real employee(s). But I know plenty of self-employed people who run crews, and they deal with a bunch of BS above and beyond general business.

 

[AndyG]

You guys are beautiful. Keep it up.

Cant tell you how much I appreciate this.

Andy