Oh boy, you aint kidding. Part of this revolves around that. More later.
Let’s hear your job burnout stories
- Thread starter AndyG
- Start date
Oh boy, you aint kidding. Part of this revolves around that. More later.
I can't say that I ever burned out - but I worked for years at a bankrupt company (gross mismanagement) before I could finally get out, just in the nick of time, thank Goddess. The next employer was absolutely wonderful, although at one point I found myself working for a complete ID 10 T of a boss, took a couple of years to get rid of him by a lateral move into IT. He was fired a couple of years later, FINALLY.
I had lots of bosses in my career, most of them were "good enough" to great, a couple were fantastic, but I only had one bad one. Completely inept - I don't know how he even got out of bed in the morning, he'd have to decide which side of the bed to get out of.
I had lots of bosses in my career, most of them were "good enough" to great, a couple were fantastic, but I only had one bad one. Completely inept - I don't know how he even got out of bed in the morning, he'd have to decide which side of the bed to get out of.
Last edited:
One thing I’ve learned to appreciate in my side hustle and entrepreneurship research & endeavors is the distinction between “working for yourself/self-employed” and “owning a business.”
The latter is the way to freedom, balance and security; separating your time from how you earn money. Easier said than done because it’s so hard to find good people to run your business when you step away … but that’s the key to not suffering more in your own business than a W2.
The latter is the way to freedom, balance and security; separating your time from how you earn money. Easier said than done because it’s so hard to find good people to run your business when you step away … but that’s the key to not suffering more in your own business than a W2.
I think this is an important part of my standpoint.
But also, I probably don't have the typical corporate work arrangement as it is.
I started out of college for a mid sized (~250 employees, $40M annual revenue) , family owned company. In 9 years worked my way into director level and decided I dislike having direct reports (at least ones that I didn't choose). Went to work for a large company (60k employees, $15B annual revenue).
At both jobs, probably due to being professional level vs technician level, it was more about results than putting my butt in a chair. I got a lot of leeway when it came to PTO and showing up at a specific time. Official work hours were 5 days of 8-5 but nobody blinked an eye if I walked in at 8:15 or left at 4:30 or took a 75 minute lunch, or required any paperwork or anything beyond a verbal notification if I wanted to do 4 10s or 9 9s or left early for a kids school event or skipped out for 2 hours for a doctors appointment.
In the large company I was way more of a cog. There were 4 other guys that did my job and could step in with a little bit of catch up or briefing ahead of time. I was never the guy that got called after hours or on a weekend for emergencies, I didn't take my laptop with me on vacation and nobody tried to call me for anything work related. I was at work about 40 hours a week, occasionally 45, but work stayed at work. Raises were never life changing, but I could usually count on 3-5% every year.
I'm now back at the medium sized company, though we've grown to 600 employees and $100M+ annual revenue, probably $150M this year, but I work from home now, so I get even more freedom. I start around 9 a few times a week because I take the kids to school, and I can go pick them up at 3 without anybody complaining. I can go spend 2 hours in the garage in the middle of a Tuesday. But it's completely erased the boundary between work and life. I was getting texts from a customer last night and having to go into my office to look at something after I put my kids to bed. I'm the only one who does what I do so my laptop goes with me on vacation and there have been times I've had to pull off to a town while on a road trip and pull a chair off the shelf in the furniture department at Target while using their Wifi or woken up to 4 missed calls on vacation in Hawaii because I was 6 hours behind the people that needed me. The reason I'm still here is I like the people I work with and the freedom I have. The pay is better, but I would be fine with what I was making at the last job, and I'd probably rather work there all other things being equal, but it's 600 miles away from any family so until my parents decide they've had enough Oklahoma and move back (unlikey being they've been here for 35 years now), I'm stuck here.
I wrote out a long response with my own burnout story. Deleted it since it's just like all the other stories here. Too much work, too much stress and not enough of being with the family that said they loved me (but really wanted more and more money to spend while I worked my ass off). No job satisfaction despite a healthy income and plenty of upward mobility. Getting older, low T, sad, chubby, not spending enough time fishing with my kids or playing hide the weiner with the ol lady, blah, blah, blah.
It came to a head when I found myself taking two hours to make the 15 minute drive home...the thoughts in my head during those drives were not ok and it woke me up. If you're there, you need to take action. NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES.
Got a shrink, examined my life and the need to keep slaving and discovered that I was doing it to myself. It's not the ONLY solution to the problem, but one significant thing I did was change my mindset to begin to shrink my needs instead of growing my income and assets to an acceptable "retirement level".
This turned into a spiritual journey much like Danarch describes.
God has ALWAYS covered all my needs and most of my good wants (the ones that are not destructive to me or my family/community). He clearly did not want me miserable as I had been for years.
It took a change in my perception and it was scary. The hardest part wasn't learning a new way, it was UNLEARNING the old BS I had been taught about hard work and manliness. You can learn all kinds of new shit, but if you don't UNLEARN the old shit, you will end up right back in the same place. This was the great challenge for me, realizing that half the shit my dad and society put in my head was bullshit. Don't get me wrong- he's a great man and a great father, he just didn't know how to be a dad because his was a POS.
I didn't need to work more and save more, I needed to trust God and let him guide me. That meant identifying what REALLY produced joy and peace in my life and cultivating it- It damn sure wasn't work. Work is a means to and end and I plan to end it as early as possible (looks like about 2 years more for me).
I can tell you this- I don't skip a 30-60 minute workout in the morning, I do it for future me. I take care of my health, including diet and mental health, it has allowed me to cut out the T supplement because I make plenty of my own now. I also do it for my family, I want to be around for them and I really want to watch my kid's and grandkid's story unfold. One of the dudes in my men's group (yep, I go talk about my feelings and shit with a group of men who want nothing from me except to see me in peace and joy) always says, "You gotta put your own mask on first."
The money will take care of itself, I'll shrink my life to match the money if need be. I'm NOT trading any more of my life for money. If you're there brother, I encourage you to examine your life, with help if necessary. Make the changes that are necessary to return to purpose and joy.
It came to a head when I found myself taking two hours to make the 15 minute drive home...the thoughts in my head during those drives were not ok and it woke me up. If you're there, you need to take action. NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES.
Got a shrink, examined my life and the need to keep slaving and discovered that I was doing it to myself. It's not the ONLY solution to the problem, but one significant thing I did was change my mindset to begin to shrink my needs instead of growing my income and assets to an acceptable "retirement level".
This turned into a spiritual journey much like Danarch describes.
God has ALWAYS covered all my needs and most of my good wants (the ones that are not destructive to me or my family/community). He clearly did not want me miserable as I had been for years.
It took a change in my perception and it was scary. The hardest part wasn't learning a new way, it was UNLEARNING the old BS I had been taught about hard work and manliness. You can learn all kinds of new shit, but if you don't UNLEARN the old shit, you will end up right back in the same place. This was the great challenge for me, realizing that half the shit my dad and society put in my head was bullshit. Don't get me wrong- he's a great man and a great father, he just didn't know how to be a dad because his was a POS.
I didn't need to work more and save more, I needed to trust God and let him guide me. That meant identifying what REALLY produced joy and peace in my life and cultivating it- It damn sure wasn't work. Work is a means to and end and I plan to end it as early as possible (looks like about 2 years more for me).
I can tell you this- I don't skip a 30-60 minute workout in the morning, I do it for future me. I take care of my health, including diet and mental health, it has allowed me to cut out the T supplement because I make plenty of my own now. I also do it for my family, I want to be around for them and I really want to watch my kid's and grandkid's story unfold. One of the dudes in my men's group (yep, I go talk about my feelings and shit with a group of men who want nothing from me except to see me in peace and joy) always says, "You gotta put your own mask on first."
The money will take care of itself, I'll shrink my life to match the money if need be. I'm NOT trading any more of my life for money. If you're there brother, I encourage you to examine your life, with help if necessary. Make the changes that are necessary to return to purpose and joy.
Industrial mechanic retired at 57 from 7 days weeks of a job I used to LOVE. I wasn’t giving it my usual 150%. After 30 years of 7 day weeks 363 days a year I looked at the finances and realized I could live on a forty hour type check, which is what all my retirement savings could supply. So long and hello to my daily schedule of doing whatever.
Have never looked back.
Have never looked back.
This is fantastic. I teared up. Hits hard.
And the weird thing is I don’t even get a check out of my company personally.
My wife gets a check to run the household and there are a few perks but that’s it.
People constantly tell me not to chase money and they don’t realize I’m not greedy or trying to stockpile cash...But I am trying to survive in a world where everything is three times higher than it was four years ago.
If anything, one thing I really appreciate is I’m not lone ranger here.
We live in the most abundant society in history and it’s eating us alive.
We are so caught up in the game we don’t even know what we’re playing, or what the goal originally was.
If you win the rat race you are still a rat.
I had another episode today that was similar to Friday where I push a customer back harder than I should have- Standing there asking me when something was going to get done and I told her I can’t build a doghouse for the dog chewing on my leg.
I was in the process of working my butt off for her and believe me I am good to my customers but for goodness sake stay out of my way and let me do what I so desperately need to do to answer your question.
I’ve got a great assistant but I’m still handling 6 to 800 incoming and out coming messages per day and spent half the day sitting in my truck with my head down texting until my fingers hurt- They literally come in in a waterfall.
put the phone down? No let’s not take the roof off the wrong house like happened six years ago .
We live in the most abundant society in history and it’s eating us alive.
We are so caught up in the game we don’t even know what we’re playing, or what the goal originally was.
If you win the rat race you are still a rat.
I had another episode today that was similar to Friday where I push a customer back harder than I should have- Standing there asking me when something was going to get done and I told her I can’t build a doghouse for the dog chewing on my leg.
I was in the process of working my butt off for her and believe me I am good to my customers but for goodness sake stay out of my way and let me do what I so desperately need to do to answer your question.
I’ve got a great assistant but I’m still handling 6 to 800 incoming and out coming messages per day and spent half the day sitting in my truck with my head down texting until my fingers hurt- They literally come in in a waterfall.
put the phone down? No let’s not take the roof off the wrong house like happened six years ago .
Best advice yet. I lived that as best I could even when working for others, I always chose based upon maximum flexibility vs. money, stayed in my smaller town rather than going for bigger money in the big city, never regretted that one bit; I had friends in the same business that would suit up & be gone 2 hours before me in the morning & arrive back home 2 or more hours after me, fuck that, not for a few extra bucks. Even when working for others I managed to not miss my kid's stuff, even field trips, me & a bunch of moms, of course that took some rearranging because the work didn't magically disappear...
It helped growing up with no money, my bar was pretty low, never lost the talent to live below my means no matter what my means were at the time.
Thug it out when necessary, save your nickels, be happy.
Whats the money if you have no time and energy to enjoy it?
Just bragging rights basically.
when the cost to the soul is too high........
that comes back to the mindset of a great many self-employed people I know, that drive to work excessively to earn excessively to spend excessively, bigger better faster more... I've been surrounded by these guys forever and I've never once understood them
The feeling is mutual, many of them don't know quite what to make of me either.
Thankfully I couldn't give two fucks
You nailed it, I was very happy with 2 employees and a 3rd part timer now and then. Unfortunately for Andy it sounds like he's a GC and subs can be just like employees.
that comes back to the mindset of a great many self-employed people I know, that drive to work excessively to earn excessively to spend excessively, bigger better faster more... I've been surrounded by these guys forever and I've never once understood them
The feeling is mutual, many of them don't know quite what to make of me either.
Thankfully I couldn't give two fucks
One of the problems we have this there’s nobody there to tell us dude, go home.
But every customer that wants work done I want you to keep going and ever supplier that wants money , etc - then the billing , etc.
And sadly it strokes our ego to be wanted at times, to be sought after. But you know I’ve always heard you can’t pour from an empty cup, You can give what you don’t have.
Luckily I’ve gone through some of the hardest and that is when you’re too small to afford the help you need , but big enough to badly need it.
Some of my story may be that I am too small at the top and I need more people to help on the admin side.
They can be a dream or a nightmare- I gave an electrician extra money to speed up two projects and he went on a crank binge. Before it was over I’m out 10 grand and getting another electrician to finish something that he wouldn’t stay on top of.
There’s really no one answer. Ever. Sometimes I get pretty mad when people give me advice because they are so far off base.
And another thing is I don’t go around telling everybody every problem- If you do that more than three times you don’t want help....you want attention.
So, did that speed him up?
I've seen crackheads run from cops before, and they tend to move pretty quick.
So, did that speed him up?
It sped him up disappearing. Crazy. I knew something was wrong he seemed nervous about taking the money and I realized later it was because he knew he couldn’t control himself.
Last edited:
I too retired at 57, also from a job that I LOVED. Fortunately, I was in a position to do so, as I had to get the hell out of Commiefornia. But its my observation that employers now think they own you 24/7/365. What I do on my own time is my own business, no employer has the right to butt in in any way. I never had that problem, but I know plenty who have. Somebody wants to be an OnlyFans pornstar? Nobody's business but their own. Etc, etc, etc. I'm also not on call after hours - I'll answer the occasional email if I happen to get one, no problem. But if I don't, I don't.
The only almost-problem I ever had at my last employer was they shoved through a horrid work schedule called 9/80 (look it up). It had to be voted on, and the majority apparently wanted it. I was in HR just about every single day raising Holy Hell about it as I wanted nothing to do with it. I raised so much Hell that a group of employees asked HR to make me exempt from it, they were afraid that I'd cause the vote to fail. Fine by me, so they went to that schedule, and I didn't have to participate in it. Win-win.
When I hire someone to do something for me, I tell them what I want and then I get the Hell out of their way and let them do it. And I'll tell them that up front. I even tell them "If I'm getting in your road, don't be afraid to tell me to get the fuck outta the way - I'll understand completely."
Last edited:
Tough situation. I think most of us have probably gone through something similar in some way at some point. In 2008, I was laid off by a company I'd worked for for 17 years (right out of college), from a job I was damn good at and made a butt-load of money doing, but had come to hate the last 2-3 years as the company culture changed and I found myself working 70-80 hours/week, putting the family second behind 'The Firm' (see John Grisholm). That experience allowed for a lot of self-reflection and recalibration and, in hind sight, facilitated changes I needed badly. A few rules I made for myself based on my experience:
- Don't let work define you
- If you can't be yourself doing what you're good at, you're in the wrong place
- Establish non-negotiable, unbreakable boundaries between work and personal life/time. The sun will still come up tomorrow, regardless of what you do today. We have limited time here, so make sure you - not your customers, your boss, the job or anything else - dictates how you allocate that time.
- Set goals to reach and milestones to celebrate along the way, both personally and professionally. Clearly stated things to strive for, look forward to and celebrate achieving help plot the course and keep us focused.
- Dedicate time to your health, both physical and mental
- Evaluate 1 - 5 above regularly and adjust accordingly. Remember, insantiy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Last edited:
Crazy. I mean, why would anybody want a 3 day weekend twice a month?
Sometimes I swear you just don't like stuff because it's different.
My company allows that as well as 4/10s for in-office employees, but it's opt-in and the participants have to coordinate so there's not a gap in support coverage. It took a bunch of convincing to get the employer to go for it, from their standpoint there's nothing in it for them. I suppose going that way exclusively might save on some overhead expenses like utility bills.
You know in the electronic age that we are in people do not respect boundaries-
There are stories about this all over the managers making workers miserable and I can say that I have quickly learned to respect when you guys are not on the clock don’t contact them if you don’t have to and if you do make sure it’s brief and meaningful and not anything negative. Where is the key to Miss Smith’s house is fine
...But an 8 PM performance review is ridiculous when somebody’s trying to enjoy their family.
This is a little hard core but I know of one builder who would not let people into the houses when he was working... Pretty amazing but somehow this guy has got himself to the point that he could take that position.
I think he built houses the way he liked to build them and if you wanted to buy it when he was done that was great and if you didn’t move along.
You know there are just so many dynamics to all of this.