Solitude

[Squatch]

Basically the cell phone has become one of the most invasive things technology has ever brought to mankind- The entire world is a phone booth.

There is so much truth to this. When people are accepting phone calls while sitting on the toilet, it's gone too far. I'm scheduled to retire in about five months, and one of the things I look forward to is losing my cell phone.

 

[Squatch]

Thinking the introverted types are much better adapted to 'solitude' and are out of their element while in a crowd.

I'm far from being an introvert, as I will talk one-on-one with folks about almost anything. The key thing for me is the personal interaction. That's the kind of "company" I enjoy. Crowds, however, I have no interest in, unless it's a group of car guys talking. Then I'm all-in.

 

[Apparition]

As a kid it was on a tractor spending hours and days working a field.

No distractions except a radio and an iced down water jug.

 

[JMT]

Having had conversations about my ‘04 project and why I kept quiet on it, it later occurred to me that part of it was wanting to build it in a vacuum- which really can’t happen because I can’t get the hood open without this forum- but I also realized that the solitude of it was what I really loved. Shutting off my phone (yes I really have 600-800 texts, emails and calls a day) and just focusing on one thing.

It is said loneliness is the pain of being alone, and solitude is the joy of being alone.

I love facetiming the guys, swapping pics, etc- all that is great- at the same time I have came to a realization that at times we need to really get to know ourselves, not others better. Who we are, what we are about, where things are going and is it where we want to be going.

I do believe we can work hard to go north, and have circumstances so complex or purposes so misplaced we do that, on the back of an elephant headed south.

I believe fishing, hunting and other pursuits are used by people to get solitude, be it consciously or unconsciously.

Where do you guys find it ?

In the garage tinkering, in the garage smoking a pipe, in bed with my wife, riding mountain bikes by myself, taking the jeep off-road.

 

[JMT]

I think you’re right about the electronics- And it’s more than the constant interruption- It is also the overload of information and miss information.

Basically the cell phone has become one of the most invasive things technology has ever brought to mankind- The entire world is a phone booth.

In addition to the endorphin giving “likes” that create addiction to social media, I think people are losing the ability to communicate one on one- Or the desire to.

You go to a restaurant and 80% of people are sitting there looking at their cell phones. Alone, but together.

My wife and I have a rule on date night: NO LOOKING AT PHONES.

 

[AndyG]

My wife and I have a rule on date night: NO LOOKING AT PHONES.

I know a guy that did that one time and it turned out it was his wife texting him and just ruined the entire date with the girl he was with 🤣🤣🤣

 

[JMT]

@AndyG. I have a theory about busy-ness. We are WAY TOO BUSY. I was overwhelmed with all the stuff I HAD TO DO. Or so I thought. My wife kept telling me YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO SAY NO. That was hard for me. Then I had HEALTH PROBLEMS. It comes with the territory. Overworked, underpaid, and stupid. It was ME. I learned to say NO. I am in a much better place now, but those damn phones keep getting in the way. Can't live with them...can't live without them.

 

[AndyG]

@AndyG. I have a theory about busy-ness. We are WAY TOO BUSY. I was overwhelmed with all the stuff I HAD TO DO. Or so I thought. My wife kept telling me YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO SAY NO. That was hard for me. Then I had HEALTH PROBLEMS. It comes with the territory. Overworked, underpaid, and stupid. It was ME. I learned to say NO. I am in a much better place now, but those damn phones keep getting in the way. Can't live with them...can't live without them.

You are 1000% correct.

I physically collapsed in 2013 and believe me it was not pretty. Why? Overwork, Stress, poor diet choices, Running on energy drinks and fast food and not sleeping enough and not getting good sleep when I did- I literally woke up one day and practically could not move- After going to several doctors they finally sent me to a rheumatologist that was an older guy and a graduate from Duke university and he started doing some bloodwork and man I was just way out of kilter.

There has to be more to life than just increasing its speed.

I will tell anyone something that I learned that is one of the first signs of being too busy- Loss of civility.

One of the best books I’ve ever had in my hands is called “boundaries” by two psychologist out of California with the last names Townsend and Cloud. They have done a beautiful job and I was talking to a cousin of mine who really has some challenges right now in a relationship about establishing some boundaries and sadly she told me that she did not know how to do that. I wanted to be compassionate and referred her to the book rather than said what I was thinking- But it starts with the unpopular notion of saying no and not putting up with things that suck the life out of you.

I am going to add something that to me is important- Really pay attention and try to catch things when they are embryonic. Behaviors and all sorts of things will get a pretty good head of steam and you’ll wake up one day angry because situations got out of hand they never should have really gotten started to start with.

Keep in mind when I’m talking like this I’m really not talking at you guys I’m just expressing what I need to remember.

 

[AndyG]

@AndyG. I have a theory about busy-ness. We are WAY TOO BUSY. I was overwhelmed with all the stuff I HAD TO DO. Or so I thought. My wife kept telling me YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO SAY NO. That was hard for me. Then I had HEALTH PROBLEMS. It comes with the territory. Overworked, underpaid, and stupid. It was ME. I learned to say NO. I am in a much better place now, but those damn phones keep getting in the way. Can't live with them...can't live without them.

You said something else very very important- “had”

We develop this mind set, an ego centric importance of accomplishing all these things and never check up to even ask ourselves do I even need to be doing this?

I would say this is more common in males and also very common with high achievers- Not realizing that if we win the rat race we are still a rat.

 

[Modoc Guy]

Interesting how all us guys embrace solitude. I don’t know any women who enjoy it much, or at least not like the men I know.

When I was in High School, I wanted to be a forrest ranger. You know, the guy who sat in the fire spotting tower, all by himself, out in the middle of a million acres! And I would have loved it! But it required College, and I hated school. It wasn’t hands on or practical enough for me.

I wonder if it’s the Jeep connection to off roading and wilderness areas that brought all us loners together here!

And I hear you about being in the garage. It’s my fortress of solitude for sure.
When I bought my new house, I needed at least a three car garage, I didn’t care about the house so much.

Actually my sister asked me why I bought a 2100 sq ft house, to which I replied,
I didn’t buy a big house, I bought a three car garage, a big house was just stuck to it! 😹

 

[BlueC]

I find peace in fishing or in the garage, and I don't mind a little company, but lately I’ve had little time for either, especially fishing.

Sometimes the wife will even insist that I go spend some time in the garage. That's just one of the ways she lets me know that I'm being difficult to live with.

I get that from time to time. "You need to go to the garage. Stay as long as you need to." I think is how she phrased it last time. I'm never sure how to interpret what she's saying, though.

 

[Squatch]

Interesting how all us guys embrace solitude. I don’t know any women who enjoy it much, or at least not like the men I know.

When I was in High School, I wanted to be a forrest ranger. You know, the guy who sat in the fire spotting tower, all by himself, out in the middle of a million acres! And I would have loved it! But it required College, and I hated school. It wasn’t hands on or practical enough for me.

I wonder if it’s the Jeep connection to off roading and wilderness areas that brought all us loners together here!

And I hear you about being in the garage. It’s my fortress of solitude for sure.
When I bought my new house, I needed at least a three car garage, I didn’t care about the house so much.

Actually my sister asked me why I bought a 2100 sq ft house, to which I replied,
I didn’t buy a big house, I bought a three car garage, a big house was just stuck to it! 😹

As I approach retirement, I'm forced to deal with my desire for some solitude, and the wife's desire for her to remain more social. I would much prefer to live in a more remote location than she would. This could become a real issue, as we'll be forced to discuss it at length before she decides that we're definitely doing it her way...

 

[AndyG]

As I approach retirement, I'm forced to deal with my desire for some solitude, and the wife's desire for her to remain more social. I would much prefer to live in a more remote location than she would. This could become a real issue, as we'll be forced to discuss it at length before she decides that we're definitely doing it her way...

I got married because I was tired of being right all the time.

 

[Mike_H]

For me, the shop is my time. I'm a constant problem solver and I was born to be an engineer. In my work life, I solve issues, but they are big, nebulous things that don't have a single solution. They have shades of gray, risk, and PDCA cycles. Its very dissatisfying. I like to arrive at a concrete solution, like solving a math problem.

When I'm home, and building something with my hands, whether that is the Jeep, a woodworking project, some sort of Bicycle project or any number of other little things that occupy my mind, I'm at peace. I don't need music, or TV. I don't need people. I lose myself in the task at hand. The trouble and stress of running and owning a company mostly washes away and I get to focus. Its SO damn satisfying to put something together, restore an old piece of equipment, fix something broken, etc.

When its something that someone cast away as garbage and I see value in, the process is even more satisfying. Bringing that value back is one of my biggest sources of pride and motivation. I think that is why I'm drawn to things like my 78 GMC, an "old" Jeep, and old simplicity tractors. I also love finding old wood and creating something beautiful, worm marks and all.

 

[AndyG]

For me, the shop is my time. I'm a constant problem solver and I was born to be an engineer. In my work life, I solve issues, but they are big, nebulous things that don't have a single solution. They have shades of gray, risk, and PDCA cycles. Its very dissatisfying. I like to arrive at a concrete solution, like solving a math problem.

When I'm home, and building something with my hands, whether that is the Jeep, a woodworking project, some sort of Bicycle project or any number of other little things that occupy my mind, I'm at peace. I don't need music, or TV. I don't need people. I lose myself in the task at hand. The trouble and stress of running and owning a company mostly washes away and I get to focus. Its SO damn satisfying to put something together, restore an old piece of equipment, fix something, etc.

When its something that someone cast away as garbage and I see value in, the process is even more satisfying. Bringing that value back is one of my biggest sources of pride and motivation. I think that is why I'm drawn to things like my 78 GMC, an "old" Jeep, and old simplicity tractors. I also love finding old wood and creating something beautiful, worm marks and all.

Love this.

Having built a construction company I’ll be the first to tell anyone that you can really lose some of the things that you think you’re going to get-

A sense of completion turns into endless projects and add ons -

Working with people turns into managing performance and guarding your bank account from mistakes they make -

No one ever needs to go in business unless they’re 100% committed- Or, so barely committed they can get out alive.

 

[Squatch]

When its something that someone cast away as garbage and I see value in, the process is even more satisfying. Bringing that value back is one of my biggest sources of pride and motivation.

^^^This^^^

 

[JMT]

For me, the shop is my time. I'm a constant problem solver and I was born to be an engineer. In my work life, I solve issues, but they are big, nebulous things that don't have a single solution. They have shades of gray, risk, and PDCA cycles. Its very dissatisfying. I like to arrive at a concrete solution, like solving a math problem.

When I'm home, and building something with my hands, whether that is the Jeep, a woodworking project, some sort of Bicycle project or any number of other little things that occupy my mind, I'm at peace. I don't need music, or TV. I don't need people. I lose myself in the task at hand. The trouble and stress of running and owning a company mostly washes away and I get to focus. Its SO damn satisfying to put something together, restore an old piece of equipment, fix something, etc.

When its something that someone cast away as garbage and I see value in, the process is even more satisfying. Bringing that value back is one of my biggest sources of pride and motivation. I think that is why I'm drawn to things like my 78 GMC, an "old" Jeep, and old simplicity tractors. I also love finding old wood and creating something beautiful, worm marks and all.

 

[gasiorv]

My wife has told me "go get on that mountain bike and don't come back until you are smiling".

For me, I like projects right up to the point where it is time to finish it. I HATE prepping, priming, and painting with a passion and I think those of you who do it are weirdos . I enjoy and get lost in mechanical projects and will spend hours in the garage fabricating, making things fit/work, and installing. But I am not going to do anymore than hit it with some flat black Krylon when I am done, if that.

One of my favorite things to get lost in is Skiing. I can spend all day on the slopes by myself with only the occasional chit chat on the chair back up. Unfortunately I only get to do it for one week a year, fortunately that 1 week is 2 weeks away!!

 

[bucky]

My shop is my sanctuary. It’s 1 mile from the house and 2k sq ft of solitude. Currently I’m looking out the door at the snow covered mountains. Only issue is the wife keeps saying she wants to come over and organize it.

 

[Squatch]

Only issue is the wife keeps saying she wants to come over and organize it.

If you're at all like me, it's organized chaos. To the untrained eye, it's an absolute mess. However, I know where everything is in that mess!