I'm glad I've made another person happy through my suffering.
Some highlights:
What is black on the outside and pink in the middle?
My wife’s chicken fajitas.
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She made some shrimp cocktail for us.
She went out and bought the shrimp, peeled it and set it on the table for us to eat.
I said, "Honey....it's grey. I think it needs to be pink"
"How do I get it pink?"
"I think you have to boil the little critters"
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French toast recipe:
1 egg
2 egg whites
1/4 cup milk
1/2 CUP VANILLA EXTRACT
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
Where the f*** she found enough vanilla, to make 1/2 cup, I'll never know.
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Microwave beef fajitas.
Easy.
Put the fajitas in the microwave, set the timer for 45 seconds.
Well, they come out well done, when you set the timer for 45 minutes.
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Chicken salad sandwich.
That's all I want.
Nice cool meal, on a hot Texas day.
She can't make it, I keep getting text messages at work and knew I was in trouble.
I walk in the door and there it is, in a bowl......a giant bowl.
"You need to make it" she said.
My sweet wife had put the cooked(thank god) chicken in a blender and chopped it into dust.
"You have enough chicken for everyone in the neighborhood"
I took 3 giant handfuls of the powdered chicken and place it on the cutting board.
The I took a knife and made 3 big lines saying "Get me a straw, I'm snortin' this shit up, cause that's how I like my chicken salad sandwiches."
She is busting up laughing, which is bad, because she had surgery on her large intestine a couple of weeks ago and still has the stitches.
My daughter said "I just had ravioli from the can, it's safer."
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