Why is your 8 year old daughter on TikTok?

[Chris]

Bare with me while I vent here as I simply need to get this off my chest.

We moved into a nice community in Florence, Arizona on June 6th. Our daughter quickly made friends with the girl next door to us who is the same age as her, 8. We were happy about that since it's nice that she can have a friend who lives so close. However, things have started to become very problematic.

We found out that her friend next door is very addicted to TikTok. Now I honestly didn't know much about TikTok or what it was until this happened, but upon discovering it, I was absolutely shocked to go on this 8 year old girls profile and see what she was posting on there. Just the other day she uploaded a video of her doing the "WAP" dance (which I also didn't know what that was until my wife told me).

The worst part of all of this is that she's been trying to get our daughter to participate in these videos, which both my wife and I will absolutely not have. I mean let's put things into perspective here. If you're a grown adult and want to sexualize yourself online by doing the WAP dance, by all means, go for it. But an 8 year old girl? This just blows my mind.

Looking at her profile and her followers, it's very obvious to me by the amount of people following her with either obviously fake profiles (or no profile photo at all) that a lot of her "followers" could be pedophiles. We asked her about her followers and she said she doesn't know most of them, they are just random people. Even better, right? Your 8 year old daughter is online shaking her ass, wearing highly inappropriate outfits for an 8 year old, and basically just twerking so that all these creepers can see.

As a parent, how can you possibly be okay with this? See, we asked her, and she said her mom and dad both know about it, and both of them are okay with it. Really?! She's EIGHT years old. How on earth can you possibly be okay with your 8 year old daughter sexualizing and objectifying herself on a social medial platform where the entire world can see?

Now granted this is just a rant and you are entitled to parent your child however you want, I am honestly in utter disbelief that any parent could possibly be okay with this. We are very fortunate that our daughter is honest with us and knows wrong from right. I'm very, very grateful for that, because I definitely do not want out daughter participating in this sort of behavior whatsoever.

I've gone ahead and blocked the TikTok app (and all social media apps) from our WiFi router so that as long as she is on our WiFi, she won't be able to access TikTok. I'm also going to have a talk with both her and her mother about this and simply tell them both that as long as she's using TikTok around our daughter, they will not be allowed to play. If she wants to use it, she can do it in her own time and keep it to herself.

With that being said, I hope that all of the parents out there at least have some idea what their children are doing. The fact that a little 8 year old girl is doing stuff like this is both alarming and inappropriate. I'd also like to warn parents out there to be careful who you let your children play with. You just never know these days.
Thanks for listening, and sorry for the long winded rant. I'm just very highly ticked off about this whole thing. I'm not trying to completely shelter my child, but certain things are just not appropriate at this age.

 

[mushdogs]

Don’t be sorry, brother.
Long winded or no, you’ve hit on some hard points of societal issues, overly permissive parenting and the absolute dumpster fire social media can be. Bless you and your wife for teaching your kids the difference between right and wrong.
Question is, her parents may know she’s on tiktok. But do they truly know what she’s posting? You ask some 8 year olds a question and you’ll get their version of the truth. Not a lie, just not the whole truth.
Don’t envy the position you’re in and the difficult conversation you’ll be having with the new neighbors.

 

[Thunderhead]

You should show her parents what she is posting.
Fucking kids man. You got to stay on top of their phone / online activity. My 13 yr old apparently has a gf in Mexico who he plays Xbox with and they have been texting. (Nothing too inappropriate thank god )
My son even got a friend neighbor kid who is Hispanic to translate for him lol

 

[Chris]

It should be worth mentioning that she lived with her mom only, who is drunk every single day (and I mean REALLY drunk) and has a new man over every other week. The men she brings over look like literal drug addicts.

In addition, after talking with the neighbors there have been cops at the house a number of times before we moved in here for domestic abuse calls

In addition, the daughter was telling us about her boyfriend. I interjected and asked why she has a boyfriend at 8 years old. Her response was, “Well my mom always has new boyfriends.”.

 

[Rick Flair]

Yeah had some issues with our younger kids friend who is 8. He apparently (the friend not our boy) was caught by his mother looking up naked women pictures on his tablet. Now, I have a teenager who I honestly expect that sort of thing out of.

An 8 year old?!?! We asked our boy if he had seen that stuff or was shown it. No, and apparently the neighbor is VERY private about anyone seeing his tablet.

Doing what I do for a living and I specialized working a sex offender caseload for 5 years, you hit the nail on the head Chris. Good for you and if her mother doesn’t see the issue there, yeah that’s not a family I’d allow my kids around either.

 

[Rick Flair]

It should be worth mentioning that she lived with her mom only, who is drunk every single day (and I mean REALLY drunk) and has a new man over every other week. The men she brings over look like literal drug addicts.

In addition, after talking with the neighbors there have been cops at the house a number of times before we moved in here for domestic abuse calls

In addition, the daughter was telling us about her boyfriend. I interjected and asked why she has a boyfriend at 8 years old. Her response was, “Well my mom always has new boyfriends.”.

Oh well that explains so much more. Yeah, I’d skip that headache entirely.

 

[Chris]

Oh well that explains so much more. Yeah, I’d skip that headache entirely.

It’s hard to when she lives right next door to us

Looks like I’ve got to have a serious talk with both her and her mom.

 

[Rick Flair]

It’s hard to when she lives right next door to us

Looks like I’ve got to have a serious talk with both her and her mom.

Yeah that’s tough, from the sounds of it mom won’t care what you have to say and in fact, might get pretty pissed cause sounds like she has addiction issues as well as abuse issues. These random guys coming over....

This is a recipe for her daughter being abused as well.

You have a delicate situation that can cause you some real life issues. If you have more questions let me know. I specialize current with DV people.

 

[Chris]

Yeah that’s tough, from the sounds of it mom won’t care what you have to say and in fact, might get pretty pissed cause sounds like she has addiction issues as well as abuse issues. These random guys coming over....

This is a recipe for her daughter being abused as well.

You have a delicate situation that can cause you some real life issues. If you have more questions let me know. I specialize current with DV people.

I'm 99% sure her mom won't care at all. In fact, I would be willing to guess she knows full well what her daughter is doing on TikTok. Her mom is one of the biggest pieces of white trash I think I've ever seen. We went in their house one time and I have never in my life seen a house that is so disgusting and trashed inside. There was months old food sitting in bowls, clothes everywhere, and the most disgusting carpets I've ever seen.

I called CPS this morning and made a report. I told them that I just wanted something on record just so that if it ever comes down to it, there is a record. However, given how many times the cops have been over there, the CPS worker said he would be willing to bet CPS is already aware of the situation.

We don't let our daughter go over there ever, the little girl is only allowed to come over here. I feel bad because it's not the girls fault, she is just a byproduct of piss poor parenting.

 

[mushdogs]

It should be worth mentioning that she lived with her mom only, who is drunk every single day (and I mean REALLY drunk) and has a new man over every other week. The men she brings over look like literal drug addicts.

In addition, after talking with the neighbors there have been cops at the house a number of times before we moved in here for domestic abuse calls

In addition, the daughter was telling us about her boyfriend. I interjected and asked why she has a boyfriend at 8 years old. Her response was, “Well my mom always has new boyfriends.”.

Yikes. Double yikes.

 

[Chris]

This is one of the things about moving. You move, but you have no idea who your neighbors are going to be.

We live in a super nice neighborhood and all the people I've met here are nice and normal. Somehow though, we managed to get stuck next to the one nut job in the entire neighborhood. What are the odds?

 

[mushdogs]

This is one of the things about moving. You move, but you have no idea who your neighbors are going to be.

We live in a super nice neighborhood and all the people I've met here are nice and normal. Somehow though, we managed to get stuck next to the one nut job in the entire neighborhood. What are the odds?

Transversely, the odds may have put y’all in that young lady’s path for a reason.

 

[oldjeepman]

I feel for you Chris. I have two daughters lucky they are 32 and 28. So they grew up without all of these social media issues. My wife was tough on them.

I was happy they both graduated high school without getting pregnant. And your right you can't pick your neighbors.

 

[Chris]

Transversely, the odds may have put y’all in that young lady’s path for a reason.

Yes, there’s always that as well. I don’t want to just dismiss the girl, but she does need to understand that certain things simply aren’t appropriate, especially at such a young age. We will have a talk with her about it as well.

 

[qslim]

That's called being a good parent @Chris, and you're doing a fine job. I have a 6 & 8 year old and I'm very mindful of the influence they get from their friends. There are a few houses in the neighborhood that they aren't allowed to go into, and there are a couple of kids that they aren't allowed to associate with period. It's made a problem with a few of the families here on the block, but I don't care.

I feel bad for the neighbor girl you described, it's a shame that some kids have to find their own way with terrible influences around.

 

[cpwolf]

Brother , I have a 14 year old girl. It’s tiring seeing it, and being the moral compass. Only thing you can do is watch, non stop watch. My wife is online watching every post, and there are girls we do not let ours go to their house, next door is tough.

She doesn’t have a pops, be a role model, the right kind, guys walking in her house aren’t, but odds are Apple doesn’t fall far. I’m a believer, so we’d see if she wanted to do a youth fun thing, maybe hang around the right mindset and change her trajectory.

 

[Rick Flair]

Yes, there’s always that as well. I don’t want to just dismiss the girl, but she does need to understand that certain things simply aren’t appropriate, especially at such a young age. We will have a talk with her about it as well.

You shouldn’t. Just be aware of things and don’t let her be alone with your daughter. Make sure there is eyes on supervision. Not saying anything bad will happen, but if the poor girl is being abused or witnessing it, it can adversely affect her behavior and actions. Not always but it happens. It’s why abused children have a very low adoption rate. Sometimes the issues bleed over to the other kids. It’s sad.

But you might be the family that helps her out of that lifestyle and give her the structure and values kids crave and need to be successful.

 

[Zorba]

You did the right thing - block ALL so-called "social media" at the friggin' firewall. Kudos to you! Keep that sewage OUT.

 

[Chris]

You did the right thing - block ALL so-called "social media" at the friggin' firewall. Kudos to you! Keep that sewage OUT.

I should probably go back in just to be safe and block all the proxy websites as well.

 

[Zorba]

I have facefuck blocked completely - haven't bothered with others as they're not so all pervasive. You can't click on anything anywhere without something going back to FB. I also have all links from there to my own website blocked - reject anywhere up to 70 or 80 links in a day, more often 10 or so.