Wise word of the day!

[Cheesy]

I always called those ‘Dadisms’. One of my Dads’ that still confuses me to this day.

To me, ”Kid, you are slower than sour owl shit.”

Then Mom smacked him upside the head.

 

[Apparition]

"Slicker than cum on a gold tooth"

 

[B252]

Mom used to say "funnier than a rubber crutch". Didn't figure it out till about 11 years old when I had to use crutches.
Now I can't help but smile or laugh when I see someone on them.

 

[Fixer6]

“You’re about as effective as a screen door on a submarine.”

Or one of my Dads - “Boy, use your head for something other than a hat rack.”

 

[Modoc Guy]

Well, back in the day there was:

A friend with weed is a friend indeed!

 

[RINC]

Well, back in the day there was:

A friend with weed is a friend indeed!

Ass Grass or Cash. No one rides for free.

 

[mrblaine]

The measure of a man is taken by watching his hands, not listening to his mouth.

Righty tighty, lefty loosey works if you're a fucking retard.

 

[Swamp Yankee]

The 9 most terrifying words in the English language are, “I’m from the government and I’m here to help”
Ronald Reagan

 

[tombicon]

Here I sit broken hearted, tried to shit but only farted.

Filled my shorts w a thick, brown paste, when it was only air, I expected to waste!

 

[taylormade73]

Al Swearengen: "Kid yourself about your behavior and you'll never learn a f***ing thing

 

[taylormade73]

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 

[taylormade73]

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

 

[2001slvrstntj]

Red sky at night sailors delight red sky in morning sailor take warning.

 

[AFF]

Red on black, venom lack. Red on yellow, you’re fucked. Wait...that’s not right.

Red on black, venom lack. Red on yellow Will kill a fellow.

 

[Cheesy]

Are you deaf or do I talk funny?

Management here couldn't find it's way out of a one door room.

 

[Fixer6]

Best I ever heard -
“When all those around you are losing their minds, that’s when you need to keep yours the most.”