The Ass Wand

mushdogs said:
When I first started fighting wildland/urban interface fires years ago, I quickly learned to carry a pack of moistened butt wipes in my wildlands pack. Nothing worse than being up some canyon all night doing structure protection and having to use tp out of an MRE. I don’t mind crapping in a dug hole, but I’m all about the comfort when having to do so. 🤣
Now I always carry in the Jeep too.
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Having been an 11 Bravo in the Army, I can relate to this 100% and then some. I became very close with wet wipes in the field :)
 
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Butt wipes are always in the PX and always selling out. I ran the commercial convoys in Iraq. Convoys can't stop outside the wire without taking fire. Guys and gals got very adept a peeing in a bottle on the fly. Absolutely no shame in the game. We used to heat instant coffee and food on the exhaust as well.
 
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ranwilrw said:
Ya'll laugh! I'm as serious as a cat covering up poop! (since we're on the subject of :poop: anyway).
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Oh no!!! I get it!! At the risk of being maybe a little too graphic, there is some appeal to it when one afflicted with this condition has been bouncing around in sweltering summer heat all day on a trail ride!!! :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
Just not sure if a "bidet bumper dumper" is a viable option!!!
 
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reddvltj said:
Oh no!!! I get it!! At the risk of being maybe a little too graphic, there is some appeal to it when one afflicted with this condition has been bouncing around in sweltering summer heat all day on a trail ride!!! :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
Just not sure if a "bidet bumper dumper" is a viable option!!!
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We're having way too much fun with this 💩!
 
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Chris said:
I figured that was the case with baby wipes, which is why I always avoid flushing them.

Bidets... that's what those are. Seems like a mess though. Spraying your entire ass, then you stand up and you're dripping water everywhere and have to use an entire roll of toilet paper to dry off. Unless I'm missing something?
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I would have a problem with the cold water part, you know the pucker factor, just say'n.😖
 
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Tomcat said:
I would have a problem with the cold water part, you know the pucker factor, just say'n.😖
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I like the turbo setting with ocillation and warm water. Run the dryer and then a little pat with some paper and done. Saves a ton on paper.
 
I have to admit, there have been times that I was completely overwhelmed and had to go directly from the toilet to the shower. It did accurately feel pretty good.🤗
 
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I came within a foot of hitting a damn black bear early this morning. One of these fancy-schmancy butt irrigation devices would have come in handy after brown alert like that. You know, after I pulled my skivvies back out. 🤣
 
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