How to unlock wire connectors without breaking them?

When you find out, please tell me. I always try and be patient and carefully pry with a small flathead screwdriver, but some of them are so stubborn I just end up breaking them.
 
Exactly as Chris said, let us all know when you find the secret to Chrysler's electrical connectors. I have nearly 50 years in the electrical/electronic industry and have worked with all types of multi-pin connectors during those years. The only connectors I fear and loathe and have problems with nearly every time are those made by Chrysler. I just did a transmission repair last month and one largish-connector at its solenoid assembly cost me an hour trying to get it released.
 
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Okay Jerry, your frustration makes me feel better in that I'm not alone on this one.

Those things are just a pain in the butt to get apart, and I think it's made worse with age. I don't think I've ever cursed so much!
 
Slide the little red tab out carefully with a small screwdriver, I usually take it out completely so I don't lose it, then press the release and slide them apart. Unfortunately the dry desert heat here is really hard on plastic so its still 50/50 if they'll break. Adding a little dielectric grease (I use SuperLube) will help them go back together easier and might help them come apart again later. I just replaced my oil pressure sender and luckily didn't break the connector.
 
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Slide the little red tab out carefully with a small screwdriver,
Yes that's the first step but after that, there's no consistency in how the two halves are released beyond that. I've been searching for a consistency since day one since I have to work with them so often but the only thing about Chrysler connectors that has been consistent is that beyond that deceptively simple-looking red tab, there is no consistency with how the two halves get released. Some connector latches are squeezed to release but not all. Especially bad is that some connectors are so surrounded by structure that you can't get a good enough look at them to see how they're released. As was the connector I had to release on top of my transmission so I could drop the valve body. To finally get it disconnected, I had to drop the valve body with that particular connector still plugged in, pulling the valve body with its cable down through the hole the connector stuck up through. As I say, I grew up with electrical connectors since the late sixties... only Chrysler connectors ever (!) gave me problems. They're actually widely complained about.
 
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