Wildman
Over Analyzer Extraordinaire & Attention Whore
Original poster
Staff Member
Supporting Member
View attachment 706606
You Don’t Miss the War. You Miss Who You Were During It.
For a long time, I thought I missed war.
I don’t.
I miss the clarity of it.
I miss waking up knowing exactly what mattered. There wasn’t much room for bullshit. The mission mattered. The men beside you mattered. Doing your job well mattered.
I miss being surrounded by people who were brutally competent. Guys you trusted because you’d watched them perform when things went sideways. Nobody needed a speech. Nobody needed to be reminded why they were there.
I miss the brotherhood.
Not version we always talk about, not calling someone “brother”. I mean knowing somebody so well you could read him without a conversation. Trust built through shared misery, exhaustion, bad decisions, dark humor and doing hard shit together.
I miss being fucking good at something that mattered.
And yeah, I miss the adrenaline sometimes. Anyone who tells you that part wasn’t intoxicating is probably lying.
But I don’t miss war.
That’s an important distinction.
Because if you convince yourself that war was the best part of your life, you’ve basically decided everything afterward is supposed to be less.
That’s a dangerous fucking story to tell yourself.
Maybe what we actually miss is the version of ourselves that existed there.
Focused. Capable. Needed. Surrounded by our people. Living with purpose and very little ambiguity.
Then you come home and life gets quieter.
Nobody hands you the mission.
Nobody assigns the team.
Nobody tells you what winning looks like.
And it’s easy to spend years looking backward, trying to recreate a feeling that belonged to another chapter.
I did enough of that.
The answer isn’t finding another war or battle to fight.
It’s figuring out how to build a life that demands those same parts of you.
Find something difficult.
Become competent again.
Build a tribe worth showing up for.
Carry responsibility.
Be useful.
Give a shit about something bigger than your own comfort.
You don’t need the war or the military back.
You need somewhere worthy to put the man or woman it created.
Yup. One of my crew collected a Second class Crow and $10,000 for re-upping. He went out that Saturday and bought himself a high zoot Rx-7 with all the bells and whistles. He financed a goodly portion of it. Two weeks later he wrecked it and killed himself. Idiot. Engineroom Qualified Second Class Machinist Mates can be hard to come by, sometimes.
Yup. One of my crew collected a Second class Crow and $10,000 for re-upping. He went out that Saturday and bought himself a high zoot Rx-7 with all the bells and whistles. He financed a goodly portion of it. Two weeks later he wrecked it and killed himself. Idiot. Engineroom Qualified Second Class Machinist Mates can be hard to come by, sometimes.
One of my engineering classmates decided to sign up to be a nuclear engineer. He used his sign up money for a new Chevy truck. I think they paid him $75k in 2000 and he had a couple years of college left to finish.
He spent a lot of time underwater since then and last I looked him up he is the commander of a sub.
One of Rickover's boys? Two things. He is / was very good at his job, and I don't envy him in the slightest.
Seawolf class.
I’m sure he’s very good, it’s a good fit for his personality. Hard working farm kid.
Agree, there is a very long list of things I’d prefer to get paid to do before I’d want that job.
If you get 15 minutes and have any interest, here is a brief about Adm. Rickover and the Nuclear Navy. I never met him. But the stories are numerous. He actually had a pretty evil reputation in the Fleet.
https://warontherocks.com/cogs-of-war/hyman-rickover-and-the-birth-of-nuclear-power/
If you get 15 minutes and have any interest, here is a brief about Adm. Rickover and the Nuclear Navy. I never met him. But the stories are numerous. He actually had a pretty evil reputation in the Fleet.
https://warontherocks.com/cogs-of-war/hyman-rickover-and-the-birth-of-nuclear-power/