My neighbor just killed himself

[Chris]

I came back from the gym this morning to find my street surrounded with yellow police tape and crawling with cops. The medical examiner arrived shortly thereafter with detectives and everything. I started snooping around to see what was going on and found that in the common area right behind our house there was police tape surrounding a dead body. I quickly learned it was my neighbor (and also friend), Mike.

Mike and I were buddies. He would always talk to me about cars, guns, and more. In fact, just last week he was over at my house having me clean his guns for him. He said at his age (68) he was having a hard time taking the guns apart to clean them.

He also told me last week he had recently been diagnosed with Alzheimers and had started forgetting things as well as fighting a lot with his wife due to confusion and anger from the disease. He mentioned that during one of the fights he had with his wife, he told her he was going to take his gun and go shoot him self.

Fast forward to today and that’s exactly what he did. I saw his body laying there lifeless, he had shot himself in the head.

Many things crossed my mind, but surprisingly the first thing I thought to myself was that if I was in his shoes I would have done the exact same thing. This guy had to have some serious courage to actually pull that trigger. Most people would have ended up in a memory care facility with a expensive monthly bill and caretakers to wipe their ass and bathe them while they slowly forgot everything. Talk about the worst possible way to die.

So while this is very saddening, I don’t blame him for what he did one bit. Only God can judge this man, and being the strong Christian that he is, I know he’s in a better place now.

In any case, what a hell of a morning it’s been so far.

Rest In Peace, Mike!

 

[Zorba]

An ex-neighbor did the same thing a couple of months ago. He and his wife were the managers of the trailer park we lived in in California - and were beloved by all. The park is in a state of shock. They were in their very late 80s or early 90s, and had apparently been dealing with deteriorating health. He shot his wife then shot himself. Knowing them, I think this was most likely pre-arranged by prior discussion. He shot his wife, then called a friend to tell him what was going on and that he would leave the front door unlocked, then pulled the trigger on himself.

They were WW 2 era Germans - he was 1 year too young to be inducted into the Volksturm at the end of the war, but both had been in the Hitler Youth because they had to be. I can't but help wonder if part of the reasoning behind their (apparent) decision was due to living through that time and thinking "Here we go AGAIN!". We'll never know for sure. The owner of the trailer park is going to pull their (old) trailer off, but not lease that plot again, but make a memorial park for them instead.

Even though its 5 years in my past, and 3,000 miles away, its still upsetting - so I feel your pain for with your own situation, Chris.

 

[tr21triton]

WOW, hate to hear that Chris ! that's got to be a hell of a decision to make to pull that trigger ! hopefully we never have to make it....

 

[cliffish]

That sucks, but seeing my MIL degrade and die from this, I certainly understand why he did this.

 

[TRE3TOP]

Damn man that’s wild. Can’t say I disagree with any of your post though, my grandma had a pretty quick battle with dementia and it wasn’t very pretty to watch.

 

[Chris]

I don’t blame him for doing it at all. I would do the exact same thing myself. The crazy part about it is just that I wasn’t expecting it so soon and so close to home. He was a really nice guy, I’ll definitely miss him.

 

[TJ4Jim]

I don’t blame him for doing it at all. I would do the exact same thing myself. The crazy part about it is just that I wasn’t expecting it so soon and so close to home. He was a really nice guy, I’ll definitely miss him.

It's one thing to endure a long drawn out process that finally ends like my Dad, but that's just downright disturbing no matter how you look at it.

 

[Viking Jeeper]

Two of my grandparents and both of my parents suffered for years with dementia. Its a completely awful way to live.

 

[Chris]

It's one thing to endure a long drawn out process that finally ends like my Dad, but that's just downright disturbing no matter how you look at it.

The problem is that the longer you wait, the more you forget. My uncle said he was going to do the same thing when he got diagnosed with Alzheimers. He ended up forgetting he was even going to do it. Now he’s barely able to even feed himself anymore. It’s a really, really sad disease.

 

[TRE3TOP]

I don’t blame him for doing it at all. I would do the exact same thing myself. The crazy part about it is just that I wasn’t expecting it so soon and so close to home. He was a really nice guy, I’ll definitely miss him.

So I have to ask, is it a little weird you helped him clean his gun and then he shoots himself? Kinda a strange situation, but at least it was clean and less likely to jam?

 

[Chris]

So I have to ask, is it a little weird you helped him clean his gun and then he shoots himself? Kinda a strange situation, but at least it was clean and less likely to jam?

Yep, that’s the weirdest part of all.

 

[Thunderhead]

Yep, that’s the weirdest part of all.

I wasn’t going to reply but don’t get caught up on cleaning his gun.
Was said gun supper dirty or not working?
I bet they were 2 different actions that intersected, he honestly couldn’t clean it ;
Then a week later he was ready or he thought it was the best time
I don’t like everything about the situation of him being found in a common area but eh

 

[Chris]

I wasn’t going to reply but don’t get caught up on cleaning his gun.
Was said gun supper dirty or not working?
I bet they were 2 different actions that intersected, he honestly couldn’t clean it ;
Then a week later he was ready or he thought it was the best time
I don’t like everything about the situation of him being found in a common area but eh

The guns weren’t that bad honestly. They were a little dirty but they worked fine if I had to guess. He wanted them cleaned because he said at his age his hands just aren’t strong enough anymore to get the slide all the way off.

He said he wanted them clean because with everything going on he doesn’t know when he might need to use them.

I don’t blame myself one bit. He made his choice and I don’t disagree with his choice given that I’d have done the same thing if I was in his position.

I just wish he’d have at least said goodbye.

 

[ColoJeep]

I came back from the gym this morning to find my street surrounded with yellow police tape and crawling with cops. The medical examiner arrived shortly thereafter with detectives and everything. I started snooping around to see what was going on and found that in the common area right behind our house there was police tape surrounding a dead body. I quickly learned it was my neighbor (and also friend), Mike.

Mike and I were buddies. He would always talk to me about cars, guns, and more. In fact, just last week he was over at my house having me clean his guns for him. He said at his age (68) he was having a hard time taking the guns apart to clean them.

He also told me last week he had recently been diagnosed with Alzheimers and had started forgetting things as well as fighting a lot with his wife due to confusion and anger from the disease. He mentioned that during one of the fights he had with his wife, he told her he was going to take his gun and go shoot him self.

Fast forward to today and that’s exactly what he did. I saw his body laying there lifeless, he had shot himself in the head.

Many things crossed my mind, but surprisingly the first thing I thought to myself was that if I was in his shoes I would have done the exact same thing. This guy had to have some serious courage to actually pull that trigger. Most people would have ended up in a memory care facility with a expensive monthly bill and caretakers to wipe their ass and bathe them while they slowly forgot everything. Talk about the worst possible way to die.

So while this is very saddening, I don’t blame him for what he did one bit. Only God can judge this man, and being the strong Christian that he is, I know he’s in a better place now.

In any case, what a hell of a morning it’s been so far.

Rest In Peace, Mike!

Chris I agree that's one hell of a morning !
Hopefully this isn't too traumatic to your wife and kids.
Honestly Mike should have taken a trip out to the desert , not in the damn common area with kids around.
You and Your family, and Mikes wife are in our thoughts and prayers.
I am sure you were a good neighbor and friend. I pray that God gives you insight and wisdom in dealing with the many
issues that will come from this incident. Stay strong my friend !

 

[Chris]

Chris I agree that's one hell of a morning !
Hopefully this isn't too traumatic to your wife and kids.
Honestly Mike should have taken a trip out to the desert , not in the damn common area with kids around.
You and Your family, and Mikes wife are in our thoughts and prayers.
I am sure you were a good neighbor and friend. I pray that God gives you insight and wisdom in dealing with the many
issues that will come from this incident. Stay strong my friend !

Thank you!

The kids don’t even know about it thankfully. I too had thought that it might have been better if he had just gone out to the desert which is literally only 5 minutes away from our doorstep. Within an hour the entire thing was all over the local Nextdoor app. I hope nobodies kids saw the body and all that blood there. Like I said…one hell of a morning.

 

[TRE3TOP]

Yep, that’s the weirdest part of all.

Thought it might be. Vibes dude.

 

[pagrey]

Sorry to hear this happened, you sound like a good neighbor @Chris. I'm sure overall things were better as a result of the time you spent together.

 

[Mhass]

Damn. Sad day Chris.
My mom lasted 17 years with dementia while dad cared for her to the last breath. Running family joke is, "Thank God it was mom!" Not a mean bone or anything but sweetness and grace in her. Dad has sweetness and grace ONLY for mom, everything else is cast iron hardass.
Condolences Chris.

 

[Mhass]

Damn. Sad day Chris.
My mom lasted 17 years with dementia while dad cared for her to the last breath. Running family joke is, "Thank God it was mom!" Not a mean bone or anything but sweetness and grace in her. Dad has sweetness and grace ONLY for mom, everything else is cast iron hardass.
Condolences Chris.

To add helpful info-you can have a memory study done. I had one after some severe head trau m a and again after mom was diagnosed. It sets a baseline for cognitive function. It can be assessed regularly to check for decline.
For those with family members with dementia, Google Alzheimer's patch. That stuff was a true miracle drug and gave mom several very good years of return to near normal life...the pi form of the same drug was 100% worthless but the patch brought her back for several years.

 

[bucky]

The bad part with Alzheimers is that it is harder on loved ones, they are the ones who see the progression of the disease. My favorite uncle had bladder surgery and came out with full blown dementia. Luckily it was the happy kind and he was still fun until the day he passed. My grandmother on the other hand had the angry version and we had to put her under professional care until she passed. I hope that I never have to put my family in that situation.
Chris just try to focus on your happy memories with Mike.