What happened to kids dating?

P man said:
Lastly remember with boys you only have to worry about one pecker, with a girl you have to worry about them all
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Timeless wisdom right there.

One thing these posts do is remind me how scary it is to let go of our kids - I’ve seen parents do everything from chain them to beds to the other end of the spectrum- our 47 year old neighbor lives with his parents-

There is a whole lot “ I hope I did a good job” going through my head as I see them paddle further from shore.
 
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AndyG said:
Timeless wisdom right there.

One thing these posts do is remind me how scary it is to let go of our kids - I’ve seen parents do everything from chain them to beds to the other end of the spectrum- our 47 year old neighbor lives with his parents-

There is a whole lot “ I hope I did a good job” going through my head as I see them paddle further from shore.
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Dude that's all we can do as parents is what we feel at this moment is the right thing...there ain't no manual and everyone does it differently with varied results. I have always tried to be a good dad but I fail all the time and look back with regret..should have spent more time with them, should have been more patient etc..but every parent has those same thoughts if they care about their kids. Im sure you are doing a great job even in these challenging times..we are all In the same boat my friend
 
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Christian Y. said:
I absolutely hate how everything is through text and social media. Nothing seems to be held sacred anymore and there seems to be endless conversations through text--about nothing. By the time you see people there's nothing to discuss.
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Think about this -

We have amazing communication devices- and are failing to communicate.

We have all manner of time saving devices and have less free time

We have more medicine than history has ever seen and more sickness

We have far more income but greater debt

Even what we are doing right now on this forum is exercising the ability technology gives us to say what we want and “force” people to listen

In reality we, human beings, are the most amazing communicators either one on one or in crowds- with tone, inflection, body language, and all that goes with it -

What can help is to realize these devices are great for information- and sharing ideas and the like. They are horrible for emotion....and they can never hug any one.
 
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AndyG said:
Think about this -

We have amazing communication devices- and are failing to communicate.

We have all manner of time saving devices and have less free time

We have more medicine than history has ever seen and more sickness

We have far more income but greater debt

Even what we are doing right now on this forum is exercising the ability technology gives us to say what we want and “force” people to listen

In reality we, human beings, are the most amazing communicators either one on one or in crowds- with tone, inflection, body language, and all that goes with it -

What can help is to realize these devices are great for information- and sharing ideas and the like. They are horrible for emotion....and they can never hug any one.
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Forums, online sales, details about events, I'm all for it. I've back and forth about deleting all social media. Save conversations so they can happen in person. Also I don't need to know every detail about every second of what is going on in someone's day.

I think people need to return to nature. gyms are great, but go outside, go for a hike. It'll be interesting to see what the future holds. Birthrates are down, I'm sure average lifespan might start to dip.

P man said:
Dude that's all we can do as parents is what we feel at this moment is the right thing...there ain't no manual and everyone does it differently with varied results. I have always tried to be a good dad but I fail all the time and look back with regret..should have spent more time with them, should have been more patient etc..but every parent has those same thoughts if they care about their kids. Im sure you are doing a great job even in these challenging times..we are all In the same boat my friend
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As long as people are thinking this way and using those thoughts to change how they interact I'm sure they are doing the best they can (Not a dad here). I think a lot of life is about showing up (on time is a plus) and having a good attitude.
 
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P man said:
Dude that's all we can do as parents is what we feel at this moment is the right thing...there ain't no manual and everyone does it differently with varied results. I have always tried to be a good dad but I fail all the time and look back with regret..should have spent more time with them, should have been more patient etc..but every parent has those same thoughts if they care about their kids. Im sure you are doing a great job even in these challenging times..we are all In the same boat my friend
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That is so true - love the way you lay it out there.

I only feel like I learned a little-

- if you don’t get their respect when very young you likely won’t

-being consistent works

- being a good example works

- enabling children to avoid responsibility for their actions is disastrous

But like you said - there is no manual- you do the best with what you know - it is sort of like car head lights- you can’t see the entire road ahead with them, but you can still make the entire journey.

I have enjoyed my children thoroughly.
 
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Billy06 said:
As a father of 4 daughters (ages 14 to 7), I'm perfectly fine if dating no longer exists.
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Nope... doesn't work like that. Hate to tell you it's worse. I have an 18 year old daughter.

They go right past dating to random 'hookups'. It's prolific. It's what we called making out.. but it's first, second and third base in one shot. As best as I remember, making out happened after courting a girl, asking her 'out', then a few dates and then MAYBE you got a kiss. Now it's right to third base even if they just met, and might never meet again.

If this goes good though, the next move is "what's your Snap". Everything happens on SnapChat. They send messages to all the people in the SnapChat list usually with a picture of something. Anything. A shoe, half your face, the top of your head, your half-done Starbucks drink. I think it's kind of like putting out a vacancy sign.

If they have an interest in getting to know someone (whether or not there has a been a previous hookup), the snap might include "hey".. If you get a "hey" back, it's moves you to 'talking'. If you don't get an answer (and you're a girl) the drama starts.. If your message was read with no response you were left 'on open' which is the kiss of death. If a person never responds you've been 'ghosted'.

As best as I can tell, there is nothing like going to the movies, mini-golf, dinner or hanging out. Dates are archaic. It's all about the hook-up. You can hook-up with someone for a long time. Same goes for 'talking'. And there is no exclusivity at this point. There is also zero privacy... where you are and who you are with is constantly broadcast via SnapChat. More drama.

My daughter is a freshman in college and I am blessed that she has major morals, but for most of the kids there is no such thing. Having random sex is common. In college they sleep in each others dorms and pretty much anything goes. If that's how it was when I was young, I missed it.

After months of this it might get more official and they agree to date. What we called going steady. Much more disposable than it was when I was young. And it's anti-climactic since they have likely already done everything we waited for until we were going steady.

Kind of mind bending.

My source tells me that everything is about efficiency, convenience and tech-powered solutions. But it seems many of the teens are starting to experience hook-up fatigue so maybe there is a chance that dating isn't entirely dead..
 
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I am going to post this here, I sent it to @AndyG and @Hog last night when my youngest daughter sent it to me. She sure has made her dad proud!!!!



Today the man who brought me into the world, celebrates the day he was brought into the world. To know my Daddy is to know instigation and aggravation 😂 no words have ever described him better than those of one of his favorite cowboys Monte Walsh;

"I'm a needler. Needling people is what I do."

And he does it well. He raised me on western movies and old fashioned values. He raised me to be strong. To think. He taught me the value of hard work. To not expect anything to be handed to me, but to set goals and do my best to make them happen. I have never known anything that my Daddy can't do....and he'll sure tell you he knows how to do it all 😅

He's one of my best friends, and he'll always be one of my heros. He is probably one of the main reasons I always dreamed of having a farm, and why I feel like there is no better life to live than a simple one.

He is proud. He is strong. He is not fancy. And he is unapologetically John Thearon Cooper. But more than anything, to me, he is Daddy.
https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=4982967238429200&id=100001479208876
 
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freedom_in_4low said:
That's what I did in high school but once I was out of my parents house it was usually only about a date or two before it turned into mostly hanging out at one of our places several nights a week and going on "dates" much less often.

I think with my first serious gf in college we were sleeping over before I took her on an actual date. When I did though, I did drive, pay, open her car door, etc.
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To give more context to this post because the direction the thread went made this sound like I was a gen z man slut... I did have morals. I rarely asked a girl out that I hadn't been around socially in group settings and already got to know, so dates in some ways felt like stepping backward.

I also only dated about 4 or 5 girls in college. A couple went the traditional dating route before fizzling out, the other 3 went long term, and I married the third one.
 
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freedom_in_4low said:
To give more context to this post because the direction the thread went made this sound like I was a gen z man slut... I did have morals. I rarely asked a girl out that I hadn't been around socially in group settings and already got to know, so dates in some ways felt like stepping backward.

I also only dated about 4 or 5 girls in college. A couple went the traditional dating route before fizzling out, the other 3 went long term, and I married the third one.
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It was borderline stalking for me.

I’d see a girl I was interested in, then she would close the blinds and call the cops. If she didn’t , that gave me hope of a long-term relationship.

Women are hard to figure out.
 
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freedom_in_4low said:
and I married the third one.
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Let's add some more lol. Got divorced 7 years later (no kids) and reconnected with a friend from high school thanks to the wedding of a mutual friend. Since old habits die hard, I started dating her (having been acquainted for 12 years at that point) and she's now my wife of 8 years and mother of my two sons.
 
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That is another thing I believe in
freedom_in_4low said:
Let's add some more lol. Got divorced 7 years later (no kids) and reconnected with a friend from high school thanks to the wedding of a mutual friend. Since old habits die hard, I started dating her (having been acquainted for 12 years at that point) and she's now my wife of 8 years and mother of my two sons.
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That is another thing I believe in- You can find love again. I love to see that happen.

I hate to see a marriage not work out...But if it doesn’t people don’t need to throw their hands up and get bitter or go off the deep end.

This mindset that life is over or you are tarnished or damaged goods is just a lie that people tell them selves-

Great post great story
 
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I have two teenage daughters. I could take up smoking filterless Camels, and the cigarettes would have less impact on my life expectancy than my girls.

Recently, one boy in pursuit of my older daughter seemed nice. So, I asked her about him and she said he liked to read, hike, study, and loved the outdoors. I said he sounded great; she dropped him like a hot rock after I gave my approval.

There was another boy after the one I liked. This time my wife asked a bunch of questions, and my daughter said his parents owned a winery. My wife acted interested and again boy gone.
 
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AndyG said:
It was borderline stalking for me.

I’d see a girl I was interested in, then she would close the blinds and call the cops. If she didn’t , that gave me hope of a long-term relationship.

Women are hard to figure out.
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You better delete this post if you ever end up running for the Supreme Court else you gonna get Kavanaugh'd 😆
 
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I'd like to chime in since I'm 28 and not married.

I was raised super traditional with morals and values and all that jazz, which I am grateful for. However, much of my generation wasn't. So when I ask a girl if she wants to go out sometime it almost scares her because she doesn't know how to react to it. It's easier if you're friends with that person first, but say it's your waitress, or a gal in your class, or maybe you just see her in the grocery store isle. The whole point of asking for a date is to get together and see if you WANT to get to know them because you felt a physical attraction. That seems lost these days.

One of the girls in my class wants to set me up with her friend. She said 'you should message her on Facebook." We've met before (small area) but I'm not even friends with her on FB, why would I do that? Like let's all get together sometime and then I can gauge it that way?

All that to say, it becomes discouraging to ask a girl out. I've gotten a few numbers, but nothing concrete. Everything is so wrapped around social media, they forget what reality is. People create false lives on social media and others try to get an idea of that person based off of their posts which is essentially a lie to begin with.
 
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