Significant Other Advice

[Hobbes62]

Again thanks guys, she and I had a good talk yesterday. Seems like the main theme is communication and balance. We'll keep working on it. I hope you all have a fantastic weekend.

 

[scottgraham]

Again thanks guys, she and I had a good talk yesterday. Seems like the main theme is communication and balance. We'll keep working on it. I hope you all have a fantastic weekend.

My wife is wrapping up her Doctorate, two masters, we'll have been married 21 years next week and I still don't understand her. Well I do, actually, she's female and bi-polar as shit mostly based on the female part. I don't see much left to our marriage after her next degree, but she forced me to retire early because I had a shit boss and was always stressed. I had about 1/2 mil in the bank which she spent, so when she leaves, I'm basically broke w/ no job (very little in the IRA as I used most of it to buy the house we're in now). Wait, this is a TJ forum, that's why I come here, to get away from that shit.
Good luck, just do what she says and it will still only get worse.

 

[Tomcat]

Women are usually into spending an inordinate amount of money (in our eyes), on a pair of shoes for every moment, it's constantly shoes, shoes, shoes or hair, nails, massages, they don't see that the same as us and our guns, jeeps, tools, or whatever. It's a double standard . Can drive one nuts. If they ever see it you are good to go. Or just split some money between yourselves, buy what you want, and move on.

I got lucky the second time around, my wife has a bigger toolbox and more guns then me. She's glad to help me work on the jeep if I ask.
We like all the same things, football, MMA, and she loves driving the LJ. Life has turned out well. I feel very fortunate

 

[lowranger]

I got lucky the second time around, my wife has a bigger toolbox and more guns then me. She's glad to help me work on the jeep if I ask.
We like all the same things, football, MMA, and she loves driving the LJ. Life has turned out well. I feel very fortunate

My wife is the same way. We hunt, fish, Jeep together. She has even put on her own overnight Jeep run. Pre-ran it first. She says she likes doing the guy stuff, more fun.
Here she is helping me put a 2" lift on our newest toy. 4 wheel drive Mini dump truck with UTV tires.

 

[Jamesval035]

I told my wife it was for her... I’ve told her different wheels, or new top, would make her look cool, I’ve told her a lift would make it ride better... all this have worked for me..Over 15 years, 3 TJ’s and one jk later and it’s still working.. I love working on HER jeep

Lmao, I tend to follow this route. She has a 4Runner trd off road and she likes to drive nice cars so I’ll usually put a small lift and some all terrains, roof rack and a few other odds and ends. Is it really for me... possibly.
My wife and I are complete opposites, but it works for us. She lets me spend an ungodly amount on my Jeep without any fuss and my finances do not seem nearly as good as yours.

just sit down and talk to her about it, if she shuts it down, then stash that money you want to spend and go big, she’ll forgive

 

[GPK03X]

Team,

I find it very challenging to get my wife to support my tinkering habit. I am an engineer by trade and happen to enjoy working on and upfitting my vehicles. I am frugal and patient and tend to buy used or get a deal on things before I make a purchase. For reference I only have 2k into my current build "project California girl".

It's always an up hill battle, I want to purchase a hack and tap SYE to get rid of the trans drop spacers and install a transfer case cable actuator to get rid of my linkage that is out of wack from the body and suspension lift. These are the last major things I want to do before running some novice trails at an event in March.

Anyways I get frustrated because we have zero debt are saving and investing money at an excellent rate. We have no kids, and rent while she's finishing her master's (all paid for this is her last semester). I make 95 percent of our income and cover 95 percent of the bills.

We have an emergency fund that would cover a year no problem a decent house down payment account that is growing rapidly. It's like she sees my hobby as a waste even though it's something I enjoy.

Anyways I don't know if anyone else has this issue but it bugs me and makes me feel like I'm not a good husband because of the lash back I get for wanting to do things to my jeep. Can't even have a conversation about it without her shutting it down.

How did you make progress with your significant other on these issues (if you had them)? We are newly weds1 year and two months. Is this normal?

Any advice is super appreciated.

Separate bank accounts. Wife doesn’t ask questions. Maybe you need to grow a pair. Or just ASK ANDY G. Look for his advice column in OTHER JEEPS!