Why don't people look at each other anymore?

@Westtown Willy , I’ve noticed it enough to look into it for a few minutes here and there. Before commenting, an addded observation is people in neighborhoods drive home, park in the garage, close the garage and you never see them. Unlike previous times when people sat in front porches and had conversations with neighbors.

I think the change is due to how we socially interact. With technology we can have connection with people in ways not previously possible (e.g. text, FaceTime, Twitter, instagram, et al.) However, these interactions are not face to face and only give the illusion of genuine social relationships. The research shows that people are lonelier and more depressed.

In the end, I don’t think the desire for human contact has changed, only the medium for achieving it, but I also think the medium matters and that face to face is the only real context for satisfying the human need. Imagine a world where all relationships were only virtual. 😞

Good observation and I’m glad you brought it up.
 
Westtown Willy said:
The exceptions to this are older people, by and large they still look at others and say hi. I’m one of them,

Are younger people so detached from actual interaction with others that they can’t look you in the eye? Is there some other explanation or have I officially turned into a cranky old man that just thinks this is happening?
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It isn't you it is the younger generation. Just different and less friendly. I suspect exposure to so much garbage from the Internet is the reason, but that is a guess. You get exposed to all the awful things all around the world and it is going to have an effect on one's brain. As older people, we have all these wonderful thoughts from the days before the Internet pounded us with one atrocity after another. Can't blame the younger folks though. It is like they were exposed to war for so long they are detached. The byproducts of the Internet are just not studied enough yet. Hopefully there will be educational classes about being exposed to every negative thing in the world non-stop.
 
lowranger said:
I have noticed it too. I think a lot of people don't know or want to carry on an intelligent conversation to a "real" person eye to eye, or like you say, make eye contact and just say "Hi".
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Well this is another part of it I think. Talking to someone outside their echo-chamber could lead to an uncomfortable situation. If you are buried into an echo-chamber on certain forums or areas of the Internet, you can always be in agreement or almost always. I notice how amazingly intolerant younger people are if you have a differing opinion than them. That seems kind of obvious to me that exposure to echo-chambers for a great deal of your time creates a false sense of correctness. Why interact outside of your chamber? Isn't it easier to be right all the time?

Ah, the can of worms this topic could produce. The most scary part of it to me is the echo-chamber effect. That can create violence in groups. Not good, but we see it sometimes.
 
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Westtown Willy said:
Been wondering about this for quite some time now. I’m a walker, have been since I was a kid, 5 miles a day/7 days a week/52 weeks a year. Of course that doesn’t include regular walking, the kind everyone does day to day to live life. By my calculations since graduating high school in 1984 I’ve walked approximately 63,000+ ‘extra’ miles. Granted, half of those are done at the crack of dawn when generally no one is around but me, but the rest are done most often at lunch time when I pass by an awful lot of people.

I’ve observed a marked change over the years in eye contact between people. Many years ago nearly everyone I passed by on the street made eye contact, most even said hi. Now, most go to great lengths to avoid eye contact, seems some would rather stare directly into the sun than look at another person.

I’d say maybe it’s because I’m just a lot uglier than I was 30 years ago, but while that’s no doubt true I watch the same people not look at anyone. Just hoards of humanity walking along in their own little world ignoring each other. Sometimes the reason is obvious, they have their head buried in a cell phone, but more troubling to me are the ones that are just blankly staring into the oblivion, to me they appear very awkward, it’s like they see you coming, get uncomfortable then struggle to pretend to not notice you so they don’t have to look at you or worse, say something.

The exceptions to this are older people, by and large they still look at others and say hi. I’m one of them, I look at people just waiting to see if they’re one of the few that will look back & when they do I say hello, even say it often when they don’t look over…

Has anyone else noticed this? Is this another byproduct of technology? Are younger people so detached from actual interaction with others that they can’t look you in the eye? Is there some other explanation or have I officially turned into a cranky old man that just thinks this is happening?

Get off my lawn.
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I've worked in the Information Technology field for over 25 years now as a Network Engineer/Network Administrator and I'll say "YES," that technology has been the downfall of society and social edicate. Young people of today are only interested in conversing through text or social media. On another note, you say "Hi" to someone in some areas and they may just shoot you. Be careful out there it's a jungle now a days!!!!!
 
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Westtown Willy said:
Been wondering about this for quite some time now. I’m a walker, have been since I was a kid, 5 miles a day/7 days a week/52 weeks a year. Of course that doesn’t include regular walking, the kind everyone does day to day to live life. By my calculations since graduating high school in 1984 I’ve walked approximately 63,000+ ‘extra’ miles. Granted, half of those are done at the crack of dawn when generally no one is around but me, but the rest are done most often at lunch time when I pass by an awful lot of people.

I’ve observed a marked change over the years in eye contact between people. Many years ago nearly everyone I passed by on the street made eye contact, most even said hi. Now, most go to great lengths to avoid eye contact, seems some would rather stare directly into the sun than look at another person.

I’d say maybe it’s because I’m just a lot uglier than I was 30 years ago, but while that’s no doubt true I watch the same people not look at anyone. Just hoards of humanity walking along in their own little world ignoring each other. Sometimes the reason is obvious, they have their head buried in a cell phone, but more troubling to me are the ones that are just blankly staring into the oblivion, to me they appear very awkward, it’s like they see you coming, get uncomfortable then struggle to pretend to not notice you so they don’t have to look at you or worse, say something.

The exceptions to this are older people, by and large they still look at others and say hi. I’m one of them, I look at people just waiting to see if they’re one of the few that will look back & when they do I say hello, even say it often when they don’t look over…

Has anyone else noticed this? Is this another byproduct of technology? Are younger people so detached from actual interaction with others that they can’t look you in the eye? Is there some other explanation or have I officially turned into a cranky old man that just thinks this is happening?

Get off my lawn.
Click to expand...

I've worked in the Information Technology field for over 25 years now as a Network Engineer/Network Administrator and I'll say "YES," that technology has been the downfall of society and social edicate. Young people of today are only interested in conversing through text or social media. On another note, you say "Hi" to someone in some areas and they may just shoot you. Be careful out there it's a jungle now a days!!!!!
 
Westtown Willy said:
Many years ago nearly everyone I passed by on the street made eye contact, most even said hi. Now, most go to great lengths to avoid eye contact
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We are becoming less tolerant, more your either on my side or.... It is not natural or comfortable so to avoid confrontation, people avoid contact. Maybe technology lets us communicate remotely but the fact is we are uncomfortable in the company of strangers.
 
If I don't know someone, I usually don't like looking at them in the eyes. I don't know why, but when I do it's a weird internal feeling. That said, I'm always nice to people I meet, and will force myself to feel awkward as ever just to make sure I don't come across as rude or uninterested.
 
Some good observations, but a) its not an older vs younger issue since the parallel issue is the development of technology, and b) it’s not technologies fault but our inability to moderate its use (individually).

Yet this all points to something deeper; we were made for face to face human relationships and there is no substitute.

Echo chambers is a nuance of the technological advance which created the possibility. Yes, people want them, I agree. It’s comfortable being confirmed. It also creates obtuse groups and could fuel intolerance or merely shock and awe at what others outside the chamber think.
 
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Tranz Zam said:
If I don't know someone, I usually don't like looking at them in the eyes. I don't know why, but when I do it's a weird internal feeling. That said, I'm always nice to people I meet, and will force myself to feel awkward as ever just to make sure I don't come across as rude or uninterested.
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The eyes are the gateway to the human soul. Looking into them is the most intimate human connection, barring sex while looking into a persons eyes. Most people cannot look at another person in the eyes more than 2 seconds. Try it sometime with a stranger.
 
JMT said:
The eyes are the gateway to the human soul. Looking into them is the most intimate human connection, barring sex while looking into a persons eyes. Most people cannot look at another person in the eyes more than 2 seconds. Try it sometime with a stranger.
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Yeah, that's probably why I feel strange. Unless it's a family member, close friend, or a pretty gal it feels awkward as hell. Sometimes it feels strange even if it's with those people.
 
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When I talk to people, I look them in the eye. It would just seem weired to be talking to someone and looking somewhere else. If someone was talking to me and I was looking somewhere else, they would think I'm not listing or not paying attention on what they are saying.
 
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Having spent the last 30 years interacting, socially & professionally with various personalities, not to mention religious/political beliefs. I have no problem with eye contact, nor with others criticism for that matter.

People say hello to me all the time, supermarket aisle, gas stations. With her snarky voice, wife tells me "It's because you're handsome". Yep! Still got it!......
 
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I like honking at young girls when they are walking on the sidewalk, they almost break their necks trying to see who is honking. My wife just laughs...
 
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Well I'm from the country, and I do blame it on the internet, and the things that come with it. Look at how dating has changed with the internet.

It's a shame that we aren't all nicer to one another, life is short and smiling and saying hi certainly doesn't take that much effort.

The younger generation needs to learn to put their phones down and drive!

Lowranger, you're getting a hug if I ever meet you.

And if you're a hot chick, I will be honking and waving, I don't care if you think I'm an old man!!
 
Try it sometime, pure entertainment...they will be on their phones and the neck jerking around to see who they might know that was honking at them is hilarious. Its just a light double tap on the horn. If they actually see me, I wave like I know them which really confuses them. They are like who the hell is that?

oh and young to me is 20 something...
 
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astjp2 said:
Try it sometime, pure entertainment...they will be on their phones and the neck jerking around to see who they might know that was honking at them is hilarious. Its just a light double tap on the horn. If they actually see me, I wave like I know them which really confuses them. They are like who the hell is that?

oh and young to me is 20 something...
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You see nothing wrong with this behavior?

Serious question for others.

Anyone else find this disturbing? Am I just old fashioned... He's 47!
 
I just take some things much lighter than some, honking a horn is not a slap on the ass, I also dont say anything, I just wave. Go to somewhere like North Dakota and everyone waves, even if they dont know you. I dont believe that anyone waves besides the middle finger in CA from what I have witnessed.
 
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