Some semi-related observations. I read a couple interesting books very similar in nature, “Die Broke” & “Die with Zero”, both similar methods of maximizing your enjoyment & finances while alive such that you leave nothing behind thus you’ve truly taken full advantage of all the fruits of your life’s labor. They don’t promote reckless spending by any stretch, rather, they give methods of assuring your financial security while also enjoying it.
There is a lot to them but apropos to this discussion the gist was not to ‘cut your kids out’, unless you want to, but rather the advice was if you want to ‘leave’ your kids money, there’s no reason to wait until you croak, give it to them now while you can actually watch and enjoy the help it gives them… makes perfect sense, because let’s face it, by the time most people receive an inheritance from their parents they’re pretty old themselves, they’ve already suffered through many of the difficult parts of life, the inheritance may for many just be some more digits in a bank account – couldn’t you have used that infusion more when you were in your 30’s when you needed a home, money to help raise the kids… I really like this idea, and have taken it to heart.
Can’t recall which book it was but it talked about the history of inheritance in the US, made sense, prior to the industrial revolution when we mostly lived on farms we of course needed our kids as a free workforce, the ‘inheritance’ was payback for many years of free labor which made perfect sense. During the industrial revolution when families fled the farm life for cities there was a dramatic reduction if not full elimination of ‘duties’ performed by kids, yet the tradition of leaving them whatever you had continued. No longer a sort of tacit bargained for exchange of present services for future consideration (the estate), it just became what it is today, sort of an ‘entitlement’ by birthright. Just like all entitlements it breeds contempt & bad blood, as displayed by the many comments on this thread & probably far more experiences most people have had.
I know people, I think we all probably do, that factor future inheritances into their financial plan which I find to be insane, there is simply no substitute for doing your own thing to insure the future you want; not that we have complete control over that, but comparatively speaking we have more control than whatever may happen with other people & their lives & assets…
My parents are still with us & since my dad retired almost 30 years ago, for our part my brother and I have repeatedly encouraged them to rip through it & enjoy their lives & be as comfortable as humanly possible while they’re here, & I’m pretty happy that they’ve done so, they worked so damn hard to get where they are & to give us the lives we have, they deserve to ‘die broke’ spending their last nickel while exhaling their last breath & I hope they succeed. I think by the time they had to stop travelling due to health issues they had taken nearly 30 trips all over Europe, they’ve had some of the most amazing experiences. Lately my old man is relegated to knocking down a few glasses of red wine & one big fat stogie every day as his enjoyment, hopefully he’s smoking some pricey black market Cubans.