Ask AndyG: a new forum regular feature
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That explains the misdemeanor charge
I thought contributing to the delinquency was a felony?
Dear AndyG,
After reading some recent letters from others I thought you could advise me on a difficult matter. A few months ago I met a midget nun at a bar and we had a great time. But she left in the morning before I awoke. I've spent most of my free time searching every convent in the area, but nobody knows anything about her.
My question is how long should I keep searching before I accept the fact I'm a weirdo that fucked a penguin? Thanks
Signed, Asking for a Friend.
After reading some recent letters from others I thought you could advise me on a difficult matter. A few months ago I met a midget nun at a bar and we had a great time. But she left in the morning before I awoke. I've spent most of my free time searching every convent in the area, but nobody knows anything about her.
My question is how long should I keep searching before I accept the fact I'm a weirdo that fucked a penguin? Thanks
Signed, Asking for a Friend.
OP
Well I have already thought about the penguin thing a good bit- They mate for life.
What I’ve pondered is how do they know if they haven’t? They all look identical- I mean....Oh George! That is you George isn’t it?
No matter what you did it’s better than the guy down here that got caught with the pig in the Walmart bathroom- He would’ve gotten away with it but it squealed on him.
This whole thing reminds me of the Priest that told the kid He could put holy water on a ladys’ stomach and she would pass a baby-
He said “mister, that’s nothing- I can put turpentine on a cats rear end and it will pass a motorcycle”
Good luck finding her,
Andy G
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Dear AndyG,
When I get to my destination after driving topless 45 minutes from home and it starts raining buckets, should I cower under someone’s carport or play the song “Singing in the Rain” and cruise back home?
Love Jim Bob
When I get to my destination after driving topless 45 minutes from home and it starts raining buckets, should I cower under someone’s carport or play the song “Singing in the Rain” and cruise back home?
Love Jim Bob
OP
Dear JimBob
I have the same ability to make it rain even though the forecast shows nothing- By simply driving away from home in my jeep-
A trail cover does wonders and I have an arsenal of places that I frequent where I know I can get undercover- Singing in the rain sounds fun until you can’t see through the windshield from the water on the inside-
Andy
Andy, my wife now has a c-pap so she can now breathe when I hold a pillow over her face, what are my options so I can use her jeep now without her permission?
Fill it with gas when you use it without permission...
OP
Fill it with gas
that is hysterical Zorb. He would have to rob Fort Knox. Even Elon Musk just gets a 1/4 tank these days- That is so funny it makes a tear run down my leg.
If she is going to use cheater equipment like that then you have to get creative- slip some chloroform in the cpap, and try to be back before she comes to.
Let us know if it works and what you get charged with.
Your Pal,
AndyG
I covered wagon'd the machine after some good chicken farts, that worked better than I would have ever imagined. No pillow necessary. Now to hide the dust and mud from her when she goes into the garage....
OP
We like the way you think. Never rule out that pickled eggs will test a woman’s commitment to a man- Takes about 8 hours for it to work-
Dear AndyG,
In keeping with the Jeeping spirit, I’ve been placing these fun toys in fellow Jeepers JK’s, JL’s and Gladiators. I’m not getting the response that I was hoping for. As I watch from afar, the recipients look disgusted and annoyed. Am I doing something wrong? Is there something about this Jeep tradition that I’m missing? Please advise.
In keeping with the Jeeping spirit, I’ve been placing these fun toys in fellow Jeepers JK’s, JL’s and Gladiators. I’m not getting the response that I was hoping for. As I watch from afar, the recipients look disgusted and annoyed. Am I doing something wrong? Is there something about this Jeep tradition that I’m missing? Please advise.
OP
Easy- most JK/JL owners are intimidated by the ducks overall proportions-
You might have to scale it down to something more familiar to them-
AndyG
You never specified what kind of gas so its otta my ass...