Low Engine Compression

As stated above (post 15), that's normal. You should be really worried if they were not at the same level.

That makes me feel much better! Post 13 had me concerned about them being even, then post 15 made me think each of those should be opposite...
 
You can see how they go in pairs here (2 and 5 are kind of hard to see).
crank.webp
 
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Do a full head rebuild. That's high miles. The machine shop will know what they need to do but it should be a full valve job with new valves and maybe springs if needed, verify there isn't too much valve stem play and repair it if there is, deck the head on a machine that will make it perfectly level, ideally magnaflux it for cracks, then reassemble. Shouldn't have any issues in the future with it if it's done right while you have it off.
 
You can see how they go in pairs here (2 and 5 are kind of hard to see).
View attachment 463413

Do a full head rebuild. That's high miles. The machine shop will know what they need to do but it should be a full valve job with new valves and maybe springs if needed, verify there isn't too much valve stem play and repair it if there is, deck the head on a machine that will make it perfectly level, ideally magnaflux it for cracks, then reassemble. Shouldn't have any issues in the future with it if it's done right while you have it off.

Thanks for the help! They're doing the valve work, I figure it's worth it. I just needed some peer pressure to justify the experience.
 
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I'm glad to say everything is back together and seems to be running great! Unfortunately the check engine light didn't disappear, and now it won't even call codes when cycling the ignition... Guess you can't win them all...