UPDATE: We got the ol' girl back! Got the call a little before 8:00pm, and I hauled ass over to where it was. Only about a mile and a half away, at most. When I arrived, the hood was propped up, and there were jumper cables on the roof. They had busted out the plastic around the ignition, but my key still worked in the ignition and the doors. Evidence that they used a slim-jim to get in. Brand new battery, but she just clicks when I hit the starter. They stole the stereo, so maybe they blew a fuse of some sort in doing so. They took a few things that were in the back, but left us a pair of boxer shorts. But shit, they ain't even my size. Bastards! One broken off center cap (odd), but no body damage anywhere.
When I got there, the engine was still warm. There's no oil in the water, or water in the oil, and the crank rolls over by hand. I think they stopped to get the stereo out, maybe blew a fuse or something (?), and couldn't get it to restart. That, or they cut some of the wrong wires, or something. I won't be able to really look into it until the weekend.
I got to meet the woman who called it in, and it was great to be able to thank her in person. Also, AAA was looking at a two and a half hour arrival time. Fortunately, the cop pulled me aside and said that being as it was so close to home, if I wanted to just tow it home myself with a strap or chain, he wouldn't say anything. Very cool! So, my son and I did just that. It's now tightly sandwiched between the truck and Blazer. I need to get new plates for it, as they're gone.
I'd like to give a shout-out to
@Vasq for helping me with all this. He posted it on the neighborhood watch site as soon as he heard about it, and he listened to me vent about the situation. It really helped immensely. Also, thanks to all of you for the kind words and support. You guys are the best, and I appreciate each and every one of ya. Thank you!
Now, I'm gonna have a cup of coffee and relax. (phew!)