Construction language

[AndyG]

Construction language

Often there is a slight gap between what someone says and what they really mean. If this holds true anywhere it is in the construction industry.


I thought it would be helpful for everyone to get a quick primer on what construction workers say and what that actually means-

I can do anything- This means they’ve been bouncing around for the last 15 years and can’t hold a job anywhere

I am a craftsman- This means they are slow and unsure of what they are doing

I do not take drugs- Usually means they are a raging alcoholic

I do not drink alcohol- This means they are a raging drug abuser

I have not done any drugs except for heroin- This means they’ve spent every dime doing heroin (Someone actually said this)

I had an episode and can’t remember what I said - This means they were nearly blacked out drunk and chewed out the boss ( This happened yesterday)

The countertop is a little bit out of level- This means they didn’t even check it with a level and it’s so bad you can see it with the naked eye

I left the job at 4:30 - This means they quit working about 2 o’clock

My baby mama-This means some girl they knocked up

My car is in the shop- This means they don’t have a car

I left my tools in my other vehicle- This means I pawned everything Saturday

This job looks fantastic- This means it’s actually incomplete and a filthy mess

I will endeavor to come back and add some more there seems to be no end to these.

 

[Granite]

“Sure I can get you some references” = let me go call my cousin and have him write some BS up

“I just want you to be happy with it” = I’m in over my head on this job

 

[AndyG]

“Sure I can get you some references” = let me go call my cousin and have him write some BS up

“I just want you to be happy with it” = I’m in over my head on this job

I love it - lay it on me

 

[DavidBT]

When you said language, I thought you meant the cussing kind, which I'm very well versed in with my 30+ years of dirt construction.

 

[cliffish]

We will be there tomorrow at 8 am = we might show up in a week or two

 

[Granite]

“Can we borrow your hose/broom?” = you don’t want to go in there right now; we made a hell of a mess

 

[AndyG]

We will be there tomorrow at 8 am = we might show up in a week or two

Exactly. ....If you’re lucky.

 

[steelhd]

Almost done - it will be two weeks.

Two weeks - undefined time period a lot longer than two weeks.

Waiting on my drywall installer - need to go to a different bar to find a crew.

I checked it for square - asbuilt condition is a trapezoid

I've been placing concrete for fifteen years - thinks ACI stands for Adult Correctional Institute

 

[tworley]

In my current job--"what time do you want to start?" Means the other person wants to start at 10 am I'd much rather start at 6 or 7am and get done early. Its good that I work by myself most of the time

 

[AndyG]

In my current job--"what time do you want to start?" Means the other person wants to start at 10 am I'd much rather start at 6 or 7am and get done early. Its good that I work by myself most of the time

Yeah most of the time what they really mean is they don’t want to start at all....And most of those guys here lately that start late, Want to get off early so they don’t spend as much of their precious time at work.

I’ve got a worker like this- and doesn’t have a vehicle and loves to play video games-

He has two children and is about 40 years old

 

[tworley]

Yeah most of the time what they really mean is they don’t want to start at all....And most of those guys here lately that start late, Want to get off early so they don’t spend as much of their precious time at work.

I’ve got a worker like this- and doesn’t have a vehicle and loves to play video games-

He has two children and is about 40 years old

I have one coworker who seriously cannot start field work until 11 am or later. They usually show up around 10 am to the office when there isn't field work.

We travel all over the state for work. I have one particular project that is a 6 hour drive away in a remote part of Colorado. I told them, "be there by 1 or 2, so we can get a few hours of work in before it gets dark". I show up at noon and start work. He never shows. Finally, at 9 pm as I am back in the hotel and laying in bed he calls and says "hey man I am just showing up and the front desk hotel is closed, do you know where I can get a key?" Turns out he stopped about an hour into the drive to "stretch his legs". Stopped again at 3 hours to "go for a quick hike". Then stopped when he was an hour away "to get a work out in" at a local gym, then stopped at a local hot spring to soak after his work out.

Same employee--similar project, about 4-5 hours away. Told him "its every bit of 5 hours to get there, I told the mine we'll be there at noon. You have to take the mine safety training before we can start work". This project is very remote with absolutely no service unless you call from the Mine office landline (and all the miners are miles away on the mine site so the office is locked). I show up at 11 and the mine safety manager is there ready to give this guy his training. 12 pm rolls around and he hasn't showed. So I go up and start work and the safety manager stays behind to train this guy. 1:30 pm, I see the safety manager roll up and he says "your guy hasn't showed, let me know when he arrives and we can dothe training up here on the mine". 4 pm rolls around and still a no-show. The safety manager brings me down to the office so I can use their phone to find out where he is. He answers and says "sorry I am late, I got stuck behind a train leaving my house."

Hes an incredibly nice guy, very smart, understands our regulations well, but my god he is just lazy.

 

[Granite]

people like that only get paid for hours actually on the job right?

 

[AndyG]

I have one coworker who seriously cannot start field work until 11 am or later. They usually show up around 10 am to the office when there isn't field work.

We travel all over the state for work. I have one particular project that is a 6 hour drive away in a remote part of Colorado. I told them, "be there by 1 or 2, so we can get a few hours of work in before it gets dark". I show up at noon and start work. He never shows. Finally, at 9 pm as I am back in the hotel and laying in bed he calls and says "hey man I am just showing up and the front desk hotel is closed, do you know where I can get a key?" Turns out he stopped about an hour into the drive to "stretch his legs". Stopped again at 3 hours to "go for a quick hike". Then stopped when he was an hour away "to get a work out in" at a local gym, then stopped at a local hot spring to soak after his work out.

Same employee--similar project, about 4-5 hours away. Told him "its every bit of 5 hours to get there, I told the mine we'll be there at noon. You have to take the mine safety training before we can start work". This project is very remote with absolutely no service unless you call from the Mine office landline (and all the miners are miles away on the mine site so the office is locked). I show up at 11 and the mine safety manager is there ready to give this guy his training. 12 pm rolls around and he hasn't showed. So I go up and start work and the safety manager stays behind to train this guy. 1:30 pm, I see the safety manager roll up and he says "your guy hasn't showed, let me know when he arrives and we can dothe training up here on the mine". 4 pm rolls around and still a no-show. The safety manager brings me down to the office so I can use their phone to find out where he is. He answers and says "sorry I am late, I got stuck behind a train leaving my house."

Hes an incredibly nice guy, very smart, understands our regulations well, but my god he is just lazy.

The hardest part of my job is keeping a straight face.

It breaks my heart how these people hold themselves back.

This stuff affects their families too.

If you’re any kind of a man you will get up and get your butt to work.

 

[tr21triton]

I have one coworker who seriously cannot start field work until 11 am or later. They usually show up around 10 am to the office when there isn't field work.

We travel all over the state for work. I have one particular project that is a 6 hour drive away in a remote part of Colorado. I told them, "be there by 1 or 2, so we can get a few hours of work in before it gets dark". I show up at noon and start work. He never shows. Finally, at 9 pm as I am back in the hotel and laying in bed he calls and says "hey man I am just showing up and the front desk hotel is closed, do you know where I can get a key?" Turns out he stopped about an hour into the drive to "stretch his legs". Stopped again at 3 hours to "go for a quick hike". Then stopped when he was an hour away "to get a work out in" at a local gym, then stopped at a local hot spring to soak after his work out.

Same employee--similar project, about 4-5 hours away. Told him "its every bit of 5 hours to get there, I told the mine we'll be there at noon. You have to take the mine safety training before we can start work". This project is very remote with absolutely no service unless you call from the Mine office landline (and all the miners are miles away on the mine site so the office is locked). I show up at 11 and the mine safety manager is there ready to give this guy his training. 12 pm rolls around and he hasn't showed. So I go up and start work and the safety manager stays behind to train this guy. 1:30 pm, I see the safety manager roll up and he says "your guy hasn't showed, let me know when he arrives and we can dothe training up here on the mine". 4 pm rolls around and still a no-show. The safety manager brings me down to the office so I can use their phone to find out where he is. He answers and says "sorry I am late, I got stuck behind a train leaving my house."

Hes an incredibly nice guy, very smart, understands our regulations well, but my god he is just lazy.

his ass wouldn't come back if he worked for me ! I'll have your last check at the office at 9am on friday and am leaving at 10am. if you haven't showed up to get it , it'll be next week before I can meet you.

 

[WestCoastDan]

Several years ago I worked on a pretty extensive remodeling project.
The homeowners were architects and both had very specific 'requirements' across nearly every aspect of the job.
We had to shim the entire sub floor in the bathroom because they "had to have" the exact same height at the transition between the hallway tile and bathroom tile; not within a 1/16", exact... "measured" using a 4' level.
They "had to have" living room walls flat within 1/16" across the 16' length, etc. etc.

The drywall team had to come back as the walls didn't meet spec, and they were pissed. I mean REALLY pissed.

As the boss rubbed his hand along the wall, he repeatedly said "smooth as a babies ass"...

I showed him the spec and all he would do was argue "smooth as a babies ass", over and over.

I finally had to explain it like this:
"A bowling ball is 'smooth as a babies ass', but just like your wall, it isn't FLAT!"

I could almost hear the veins in his head explode.

That's the day that I learned a few new Spanish curse words.

 

[tworley]

people like that only get paid for hours actually on the job right?

This one is salaried But his annual pay raise and bonus reflect his work ethic. I think our boss knows how he operates. Honestly I don't anticipate him being around much longer.

his ass wouldn't come back if he worked for me ! I'll have your last check at the office at 9am on friday and am leaving at 10am. if you haven't showed up to get it , it'll be next week before I can meet you.

If I had the authority, he would have been gone a while ago. Or at the very least, a PIP.

 

[B1Toad]

Yep, and it's often hard to get across what exactly you mean.....

 

[AndyG]

Several years ago I worked on a pretty extensive remodeling project.
The homeowners were architects and both had very specific 'requirements' across nearly every aspect of the job.
We had to shim the entire sub floor in the bathroom because they "had to have" the exact same height at the transition between the hallway tile and bathroom tile; not within a 1/16", exact... "measured" using a 4' level.
They "had to have" living room walls flat within 1/16" across the 16' length, etc. etc.

The drywall team had to come back as the walls didn't meet spec, and they were pissed. I mean REALLY pissed.

As the boss rubbed his hand along the wall, he repeatedly said "smooth as a babies ass"...

I showed him the spec and all he would do was argue "smooth as a babies ass", over and over.

I finally had to explain it like this:
"A bowling ball is 'smooth as a babies ass', but just like your wall, it isn't FLAT!"

I could almost hear the veins in his head explode.

That's the day that I learned a few new Spanish curse words.

Smooth and flat are totally different terms for sure. True flatness is hard to get with todays lumber.

A remodel like that - Hard pass on that for me. About gives me hives.

Why? I just don’t want to be on the hook for near impossible criteria....Most of the time people to do something like this turn right around and have a load not carried right or termites somewhere....In other words aren’t worried about the right things.

Architects are generally extremely astute at a lot of detail, it is more trying to make all that happen even semi profitably with todays tradespeople that scares me.

I would rather exceed somebody’s expectations than try to live up to someone’s extremely high criteria.

Give me regular folks any day.

And I say that- I have deep respect for architects.

Maybe I’m a little bit snake bit this evening because I have a project that the customer has a designer...

And she crossed the line and started directing the work...So right now we have drywall going in, plugs in the wrong place, And one worker who lost his job....

 

[WestCoastDan]

I'm not on that side of the trades anymore, and I'm beyond thankful.

 

[AndyG]

I'm not on that side of the trades anymore, and I'm beyond thankful.

Sir there are times when I want to be out of it so bad that I can’t stand it-

One minute you got a customer going haywire and you get that under control then you got a employee lying about hours and taking Clonopin by the handful

I’m at the point right now where am I actually seriously considering how much more I want to do and how long I want to do it.