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@SvtLdr said, unless shims are lost your backlash should stay the same when removing and installing a carrier. It seems like you're confusing carrier/locker slop with true backlash (common problem since the "slop" in the spider gears or locker can easily "mask" the R&P spacing). To properly check BL, you'll move the carrier/ring gear against a stationary pinion gear and use a dial indicator to check (as a machinist, I'm sure this isn't news to you!). Using the "hand check" method, especially with a locker, is quite prone to confusion and needless worry.
One thing worth noting is that lockers only "lock" with torque input. If yours is unlocking, could it be because your backing off the throttle? This is an old trick to get a rig to "turn in" a bit tighter (quickly getting off the throttle to "unlock", then turning the wheels, then getting back into the throttle once the rig points where you want it).