Ok this guy is driving me nuts

[freedom_in_4low]

Maybe he's on the spectrum.

I would put money on it.

The followup questions may very well be a coping mechanism he's consciously developed with an awareness that he's not as good as most people at interpreting what he's told. They say 90% of communication is nonverbal so everything you say he's only working with 10% of what "neurotypicals" are getting.

 

[Chris]

I think there’s only one way to handle this situation, @AndyG. As cliche as it sounds, ask yourself, “What would Jesus do?”.

That’s your answer

Remember that you can re-frame any situation in whatever manner you choose.

If I come home from work and I’m tired and worn out, I can walk into my house and dread my kids jumping all over, yelling at me, and tiring me out.

Or I can stop at the door, thank God for my children, my house, me job, and all of the blessings, walk in the door with a smile on my face and realize how fortunate I am.

Maybe that isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. I’ve got kids that can be equally as annoying, I just do my best to frame the situation differently. Not saying I never slip-up, but I try as hard as I can not to.

 

[AndyG]

I think there’s only one way to handle this situation, @AndyG. As cliche as it sounds, ask yourself, “What would Jesus do?”.

That’s your answer

Remember that you can re-frame any situation in whatever manner you choose.

If I come home from work and I’m tired and worn out, I can walk into my house and dread my kids jumping all over, yelling at me, and tiring me out.

Or I can stop at the door, thank God for my children, my house, me job, and all of the blessings, walk in the door with a smile on my face and realize how fortunate I am.

Maybe that isn’t what you want to hear, but it’s the truth. I’ve got kids that can be equally as annoying, I just do my best to frame the situation differently. Not saying I never slip-up, but I try as hard as I can not to.

Chris it is true- we have the power to choose how we respond. We always do.

And I know kindness is never wrong, even if it doesn’t change anything.

Today I went to the job and he started following me around- “man please don’t stop working because I’m here”.

I had technical details to cover with the client and plumber via text and cant do it with him yammering. One mistake and I am re-plumbing a bathroom at my expense.

And I realize at the end of the day I am the one choosing to work him- And all I am doing here is yapping about something I can’t change. We can really never control other people but we can adjust our behavior.

I’ll give you a good example with how to line him out in the future- I’m not going to. I’m going to tell my full-time lead the details and let him handle him.

They get along well and Matt my awesome lead will be happy to take the helm.

Incidentally the situation I talked about in the fall about the young man who was just impossible to get along with- he recruited Matt before he was fired and Matt has turned out to be absolutely dynamite. I think I’ll start calling him DynaMatt.

 

[Rubiconned]

Does the man in question live alone? Often such people blab constantly at work for attention.

I'm not a psychologist, but I play one on the interwebz

 

[AndyG]

Does the man in question live alone? Often such people blab constantly at work for the attention they aren't receiving in their personal life.

I'm not a psychologist, but I play one on the interwebz

Well he does live in his own world, not sure who all is there

His first wife committed suicide, terrible situation- essentially went crazy in her late 50’s.

His new wife is reclusive/possessive.

98 percent of this is overcompensating for
insecurity. Maybe 100
Percent.

Gets worse in front of clients. Talks out of nervousness.

I heard him at the start of a job, 2 minutes in segue into talking to a lady about fishing for a certain species of fish. This woman thinks fish are only found at restaurants.

I finally told him “man they dont want to hear about anything but what we can do to help them John- that is it”

Talking too much in business situations is not helpful.

 

[Rubiconned]

His wife is probably not a good listener, so he takes advantage of captive audiences at work who are trapped into having to listen to him.

 

[JMT]

@AndyG, maybe we now know why his first wife went crazy and committed suicide. Enough is enough.

 

[Zorba]

I would put money on it.

The followup questions may very well be a coping mechanism he's consciously developed with an awareness that he's not as good as most people at interpreting what he's told. They say 90% of communication is nonverbal so everything you say he's only working with 10% of what "neurotypicals" are getting.

If he's on the spectrum, he needs VERY clear and concise instructions - assume NOTHING. I'm not "too bad" at the nonverbal stuff, but I still miss it at times - sometimes on this very forum. I worked with a guy that was way further up the spectrum than I am - he drove me nuts too until I realized what was going on. That helped, but at times he still drove me nuts. We also tend to get lost in the details, at least I do.

With all that said, I personally prefer face-to-face communications - presumably because of the nonverbal component. At work, I'd tend to go talk to someone in person rather than call them on the phone.

 

[AndyG]

@AndyG, maybe we now know why his first wife went crazy and committed suicide. Enough is enough.

If you knew how many times I have had that thought....

I feel guilty about it but at the same time it makes me want to jump off a cliff

 

[AndyG]

If he's on the spectrum, he needs VERY clear and concise instructions - assume NOTHING. I'm not "too bad" at the nonverbal stuff, but I still miss it at times - sometimes on this very forum. I worked with a guy that was way further up the spectrum than I am - he drove me nuts too until I realized what was going on. That helped, but at times he still drove me nuts. We also tend to get lost in the details, at least I do.

With all that said, I personally prefer face-to-face communications - presumably because of the nonverbal component. At work, I'd tend to go talk to someone in person rather than call them on the phone.

Yes it would be interesting for you to witness what he was going on-

We can’t even finish explaining something without him asking questions

It’s like he wants to understand but he wants to understand based on his terms to process the information

You can’t just tell him something and him say OK

Never

And he repeats everything back to you but it’s not for the right reason it is to get more time to think of more questions that you have already answered

 

[WestCoastDan]

Yes it would be interesting for you to witness what he was going on-

We can’t even finish explaining something without him asking questions

It’s like he wants to understand but he wants to understand based on his terms to process the information

You can’t just tell him something and him say OK

Never

And he repeats everything back to you but it’s not for the right reason it is to get more time to think of more questions that you have already answered

Sadly, this seems to be a continuing theme... it's hard to imagine that you cannot find even average employees who will show up (sober even!) and do the required job. I'm near ready to move to Alabama just to help you out, man!

With these unprecedented fires here in LA, I'm wondering how I can start a clean up business that will be ready to roll in a couple of months.

 

[AndyG]

Sadly, this seems to be a continuing theme... it's hard to imagine that you cannot find even average employees who will show up (sober even!) and do the required job. I'm near ready to move to Alabama just to help you out, man!

With these unprecedented fires here in LA, I'm wondering how I can start a clean up business that will be ready to roll in a couple of months.

You know it really is challenging out here in the trades-

We’ve been so busy filling the corner office that we forgot to teach people how to build it

In addition to having a shortage of technical knowledge we have a terrible shortage of people that just have good character

Between those two you’re going to get about anything

At the same time I’ve got eight people today not causing any problems and working hard

It is so funny how one person can get all of your attention

 

[WestCoastDan]

I'm sure you've heard the 80/20 rule... 80% of your time & effort will be dedicated to only 20% of the people around you.
Sounds like this guy requires far more than his share.

 

[AndyG]

I'm sure you've heard the 80/20 rule... 80% of your time & effort will be dedicated to only 20% of the people around you.
Sounds like this guy requires far more than his share.

Yes and it is mainly me for letting him get in my head

You know it’s kind of weird we’ve had the best times fishing and stuff like that but in a work environment he just starts going overboard

It is the weirdest mix of insecurity and overconfidence.

 

[Weasellee]

Unions have outlived their purpose.

In so many ways but not all, yet. Without the unions we’d work 7 days without overtime and in unsafe conditions. I been non-union since 94 for many reasons but i know who to thank for weekends mandatory trench reinforcement

 

[Weasellee]

As a retired Union member pulling a pension from the Laborers Union and Operators Union, I have a comfortable retirement. Are all Unions the same, I don't think so. I made a good wage and had good health benefits, and still do.

And thank you for helping raise the bar for us non-union to negotiate better packages.

 

[AndyG]

In so many ways but not all, yet. Without the unions we’d work 7 days without overtime and in unsafe conditions. I been non-union since 94 for many reasons but i know who to thank for weekends mandatory trench reinforcement

Yes I got ya- they at least keep things in check- Let me restate it they have largely outlived their original purpose- which was horrid abuse by employers.

 

[lBasket]

Yes I got ya- they at least keep things in checks- Let me restate it they have largely outlived their original purpose- which was horrid abuse by employers.

My cousin works for US Steel and I always thought that was a place where a union is still relevant.

On the other hand, don't get me started on that predatory grocery store union I was part of for Safeway. No reason for it to exist.

 

[L J]

We don't know about social cues, we have to learn them ...

Everybody has to learn them. They're not instinctual.

 

[DavidBT]

My oldest son is following in my exact footsteps inboth Unions. He mentioned the other day that he's hoping to retire in 10 years. I guess if you're able to get profit sharing and or 401k and can stick to a plan for savings for retirement, you could go into retirement ok. I know for myself, I've never been disciplined enough to stay on that track. I do feel very fortunate to have met the right people to guide me into construction. All of the guidance wouldn't have worked if I wasn't willing to put in the effort to be good at it and not just for collecting a paycheck. I was a underground pipe layer, and it was the one thing that I felt like I was meant to be. As a young man, I never really had a direction until I found that I was really good at physical work. Sorry about the rant.