The official idiot driver thread

[Zorba]

FIFY!

Ya know, just once, just ONCE, I want to be able to press that big red button on the dash and hear that soft, synthesized female voice say: "Target acquisition in progress..." "Target acquired..." "Missile launch..." "Target destroyed."

Just once. I promise I won't use it until I encounter that asshole that REALLY deserves it! Is that too much to ask for?

 

[KennethS]

Ya know, just once, just ONCE, I want to be able to press that big red button on the dash and hear that soft, synthesized female voice say: "Target acquisition in progress..." "Target acquired..." "Missile launch..." "Target destroyed."

Just once. I promise I won't use it until I encounter that asshole that REALLY deserves it! Is that too much to ask for?

I can hear that voice as I'm reading the words!

 

[Apparition]

 

[Viking Jeeper]

So someone filmed that on a handheld camera and the dudes phone is stuck to the dash.

 

[Apparition]

So someone filmed that on a handheld camera and the dudes phone is stuck to the dash.

Maybe they had this

 

[chili_pepper]

I'd like to think that guy fully shit himself. For real.

 

[Apparition]

I'd like to think that guy fully shit himself. For real.

The jeep accelerated better than expected too.

 

[Viking Jeeper]

If he was filming it was because he had been fucking with the guy behind him. He was ready for it. For the record: brake checking is about the STUPIDEST thing a driver can do.

 

[joe98tj]

I saw that video earlier today and the caption stated the driver had RayBan smart glasses on which recorded the accident.

 

[Apparition]

I saw that video earlier today and the caption stated the driver had RayBan smart glasses on which recorded the accident.

It recorded him speeding up to fuck with the asshole who thought he was enough of an asshole to pass using the shoulder.

Unfortunately the assholes did not collide.

 

[KennethS]

Do people really drive around with all that shit on the dash?

 

[B1Toad]

Do people really drive around with all that shit on the dash?

I saw for the first time a Jeep today parked at the mall with a whole dashboard covered with them.

 

[Apparition]

 

[Zorba]

So...

Did they recover the smartphone the Jag driver was OBVIOUSLY fiddling with?

 

[Zorba]

Ok - let's play "Who's the idiot?" - if anyone is. Let me see if I can explain this without it being too confusing!

Was driving the Jeep home from a dance class. Came around a little used, rural cloverleaf at night - pitch black. Once around onto the "new" road, there is one of those "on again, off again" lanes, so I MUST merge left. Just as I got to the end of the cloverleaf and the beginning of the rather short "on again off again" merge lane; there was what appeared to be a large truck that was coming up behind me on the "new" road - maybe a larger high-cube or something. He "twinkled" his headlites at me. By "twinkle", it appeared that the headliites and DRLs were alternating with each other, from half to full brightness - but I'm not totally sure exactly what it was as I'd never seen anything like it before. It didn't look like wig-wag.

So - WTF? I've never seen anything like this, so I didn't know what the fuck he was trying to signal to me. Headlites on full bright would have conveyed "Stay outta my way, I'm coming through."; or a brief flash or cut-out would say "Come on over into this lane". But this twinkling confused me, so I slowed WAY down in the merge lane, not that I was going fast anyway - more of a rolling stop. Then it appeared that the truck got about halfway into my lane (behind me), and twinkled his lights again. I thought briefly about FULL STOP cause I don't know what this is about or who it is, maybe even some kind of LE? But I didn't stop, and rolled on into the main lane (with signal on), he twinkled his lites at me one last time before he entered the "other half" of the cloverleaf and exited that road.

So is he an idiot for doing this? Or am I an idiot because this is something new that I don't know about? All I can say is he confused the crap out of me with an unknown signal methodology. It was absolutely pitch black, I couldn't see the square root of eff all other than this lite show. We definitely annoyed each other! Can I blame it on smartphones?

 

[suicideking]

Ok - let's play "Who's the idiot?" - if anyone is. Let me see if I can explain this without it being too confusing!

Was driving the Jeep home from a dance class. Came around a little used, rural cloverleaf at night - pitch black. Once around onto the "new" road, there is one of those "on again, off again" lanes, so I MUST merge left. Just as I got to the end of the cloverleaf and the beginning of the rather short "on again off again" merge lane; there was what appeared to be a large truck that was coming up behind me on the "new" road - maybe a larger high-cube or something. He "twinkled" his headlites at me. By "twinkle", it appeared that the headliites and DRLs were alternating with each other, from half to full brightness - but I'm not totally sure exactly what it was as I'd never seen anything like it before. It didn't look like wig-wag.

So - WTF? I've never seen anything like this, so I didn't know what the fuck he was trying to signal to me. Headlites on full bright would have conveyed "Stay outta my way, I'm coming through."; or a brief flash or cut-out would say "Come on over into this lane". But this twinkling confused me, so I slowed WAY down in the merge lane, not that I was going fast anyway - more of a rolling stop. Then it appeared that the truck got about halfway into my lane (behind me), and twinkled his lights again. I thought briefly about FULL STOP cause I don't know what this is about or who it is, maybe even some kind of LE? But I didn't stop, and rolled on into the main lane (with signal on), he twinkled his lites at me one last time before he entered the "other half" of the cloverleaf and exited that road.

So is he an idiot for doing this? Or am I an idiot because this is something new that I don't know about? All I can say is he confused the crap out of me with an unknown signal methodology. It was absolutely pitch black, I couldn't see the square root of eff all other than this lite show. We definitely annoyed each other! Can I blame it on smartphones?

If you're attempting to merge, and a vehicle flashes their lights at you, they're telling you to go ahead. So he saw you were cautiously attempting to merge and flashed his lights as if to say, 'go ahead'. Common with smaller vehicles, more common for trucks to do that because they're slow and just want you to move as fast as possible because, if they slow down, it takes longer to speed up.

 

[Zorba]

If you're attempting to merge, and a vehicle flashes their lights at you, they're telling you to go ahead. So he saw you were cautiously attempting to merge and flashed his lights as if to say, 'go ahead'. Common with smaller vehicles, more common for trucks to do that because they're slow and just want you to move as fast as possible because, if they slow down, it takes longer to speed up.

That is exactly my point. He did NOT flash his lights, he "twinkled" them. I guess this twinkling is a new form of flashing? A flash I would have understood, this malarkey twinkling I did not. I never saw it before - hope I don't again!

 

[lBasket]

You slowed down in the merge lane instead of just merging normally. Definitely erratic, unpredictable behavior. Bad driving.

It sounds like you're just describing what headlights look like when someone hits bumps.

 

[Zorba]

You slowed down in the merge lane instead of just merging normally. Definitely erratic, unpredictable behavior. Bad driving.

It sounds like you're just describing what headlights look like when someone hits bumps.

Not to my eye, but you may be right. It was definitely some kind of "twinkle" the best that I could tell anyway. I dunno - old man confusion I guess...

 

[suicideking]

That is exactly my point. He did NOT flash his lights, he "twinkled" them. I guess this twinkling is a new form of flashing? A flash I would have understood, this malarkey twinkling I did not. I never saw it before - hope I don't again!

What do you mean twinkled? Turned them off and on again quickly?

I'd interpret any change in light behavior as, 'go ahead'. Same if he honked his horn quickly, like two quick taps on the horn.