You might be a mall crawler if...

[NashvilleTJ]

Recently while watching a thread about another member being called a Mall Crawler, Jeff Foxworthy's bit "...You Might be a Redneck" came to mind. I though it would be fun to see what folks here can come up with along those lines. Nothing mean spirited, but I think this could be fun.

I'll start...

 

[NashvilleTJ]

If you are running fodees on a Dana 30...

...You Might be a Mall Crawler.

 

[NashvilleTJ]

If you spend more on Tire Shine than you do on Off Road Park entrance fees...

...You Might be a Mall Crawler.

 

[B00mb00m]

If you got lightbars and no lockers...

 

[Rescue6]

If you are more interested in shiny parts than you are about function.

 

[Chris]

If you run Fuel wheels

 

[B00mb00m]

If your 401K doesn't have mud terrains...

 

[Rescue6]

If you spend more on Tire Shine than you do on Off Road Park entrance fees...

...You Might be a Mall Crawler.

I wheel all over Colorado, Utah and never pay for offroad parks. In fact I can only think of one in offroad park in Colorado. So I guess I’ve payed more in tire shine.

 

[B00mb00m]

If you haven't been kicked out of a car wash for clogging their drain with mud....

 

[Chris]

If you have rubber band tires.

 

[B00mb00m]

If you can measure your uptravel with your weiner.....

 

[B00mb00m]

I wheel all over Colorado, Utah and never pay for offroad parks. In fact I can only think of one in offroad park in Colorado. So I guess I’ve payed more in tire shine.

I bet you're fun at parties

 

[Irun]

If you run a 35x12.50R24 tire.

 

[B00mb00m]

If you drive over curbs but drive around gatekeepers...

 

[NashvilleTJ]

If you haven't gotten around to installing that front drive shaft after your 10" lift...

 

[B00mb00m]

If you thought a tummy tuck would decrease your pant size...

 

[Modoc Guy]

If your Jeep has an “angry grill”

 

[B00mb00m]

If talk about axle swaps makes you want Chinese food (won tons)....

 

[B00mb00m]

If your Jeep has an “angry grill”

Guys this is supposed to be in the vein of Jeff Foxworthy, you know the COMIC!?! So these should be phrased like his redneck jokes. Case in point modoc should've said:

If you bought some jeep parts and your grill is angry but your wife is not, then you might be a mall crawler.

 

[Irun]

If your jeep wears a bra.....