Actually, I almost forgot one more learned lesson, maybe will help you
@UKTJ or someone else:
In short, the kit I had came with not enough pinion preload shims, so I ended up carefully filing down one of the shims from 12 thou (which was the thinnest one in the kit) to about 8 thou which was giving me the correct preload.
Slightly longer version:
Along with the two sets of Revolution Gears (Dana 30 and Dana 44), I ordered their master overhaul kits. That's where all the shims (aside from the ARB carrier shims that came in abundance of sizes with the lockers) came from. It felt like they could have added:
a) more quantities and sizes of pinion preload shims to both kits
b) more Dana 44 pinion depth shims (I had 5 shims in the kit, and by pure luck got a good pattern using 4 of them. Granted I have not used the thick baffle(?) shim that goes between pinion and the very first pressed bearing).
So with Dana 30 I ended up JUST hitting the required preload (next best combination was getting me over 20ftlb). With Dana 44, there was no chance of getting to the right preload using the shims in the kit - there were exactly 3 shims of 24 thou, and 3 shims of 12 though. After figuring out between which two thicknesses my desired preload lies, I clipped a sanding paper to a hard surface, 12 thou shim on top, and using a mixture of pneumatic sander and hand sanding carefully for some 2 hours got to 8 thou, which was sufficient to achieve the required rotational torque.
Lesson? I guess next time I will order a few extra pinion preload shims from a different kit, especially given they are interchangeable between Dana 30 and Dana 44.