So, you put on a heavy duty lift kit, stiffer shocks,and larger tires and want to know why it doesn't ride like a stock Jeep? Ummm,,, Because it's not stock anymore?
I didn't want to say anything but you said it for me.
We take round ham, square cheese, diced onion, sliced tomato, put it on square bread ...cut it diagonally.. then complain because it falls apart.
I'm not harping ...I am just picky about ride-and-drive quality as they come...because it takes a good bit of the enjoyment out of an otherwise fun vehicle.
I think you do get into the dynamic that when you change one thing that changes other things.
Two and a half inch may not seem like much but it is world of distance in some suspension geometry equations.
I'm not qualified to direct anyone how to lift a Jeep and I'm not going to pretend like I am...but I'm going to tell you if you can develop some sort of a whole system approach you're likely to get a much much better end result.
I think another truism is different brands of lift or going to have different ride and handling characteristics... I declare I never drive two TJ's that feel similar...I'm not saying they don't exist I'm just saying that it seems everyone that I drive has different characteristics and I realize a lot of things enter in... just a bad alignment job can make one feel like junk.
I used to say that my Jeep drove like a stock Jeep even though it's lifted because it really tracks straight and is tight and predictable.
Then I realized I've never owned a stock TJ.
I had the opportunity to drive a 60th anniversary that was essentially stock with about 70,000 miles. I instantly thought wow you can drive this thing to California from Alabama .
After I did that I began saying my Jeep drives as well as any 4in lifted TJ that I've driven if not better.
I'm not beating you up all I'm saying is there seems to be a little bit of overselling going on.
Also at the same time don't settle... Just one bad track bar bushing can have quite an effect on a TJ.