You might be a mall crawler if...

If you make sure to take a picture of your rig parked on a parking lot snow pile...

Damn it.

F8B1CC79-2F93-4855-A2B8-9A24DD00B91C.jpeg
 
If you got more trail rash on your undercarriage than your jeep does.... ya might be a mallcrawler.

If your jeep got more accessories than your wife... ya might be a mallcrawler.


If you got more bugs in your teeth than in your jeep grill... then ya might be a mall crawler.
 
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while you sip White Claws and talk about your preferred pronouns.
Hey now sometimes I do enjoy a seltzer or 9. I was hunting this year about 4 miles from the nearest trailhead and there was a remnant of an old logging road that I was on and I found a whole stash of white claw empties. I was Soo confused who the fuck would hike 4 miles into the woods, no view no nothing to drink white claws. If it was just some kids try to have some alone time why not stop at mile 2???